


Force of Will

by DefaltManifesto, Pennatus



Category: inFAMOUS (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon Typical Violence, Gen, Original Minor Character Death, POV First Person, Post Evil Ending, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pennatus/pseuds/Pennatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moments that define us push you further than you've ever thought possible and force you to make choices. No matter what the cost. A story following Kovi and Kira, two new Conduits, as they live in Cole's new world. Follows the Evil story line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This shit's old. Like. Two years old. So the first like, six chapters are kinda rocky. Schizzar writes from Kovi's point of view and Pennatus writes from Kira's point of view. This is our pet project from forever ago that we're cross posting from our joint account on Fanfic. It will hopefully be updated fairly regularly. I hope you all enjoy.

[The tumblr](http://schizzar.tumblr.com)

 

      _"Any man can overcome adversity. If you truly want to test a man's character, give him power."_  
 _  
_-Abraham Lincoln

_Kovi's POV_

    The night was hot, humid. The fire crackled and popped as I stirred the stew in front of me. There wasn't much in it; potatoes, chunks of rabbit meat Connie had caught earlier that evening. It's a bland meal, but then nothing tastes good with the smell of burning flesh in your nose. We burned the dead. Those inflicted with the plague. Connie said burying them risks contaminating our only source of water out here, not that it matters, because at this point we're all sick; it's just a matter of who shows the symptoms next. 

    I heard the bigger cities still have access to clean water, that the electricity and water systems still work. Out here, in the middle of nowhere, there's no such luck. We catch our food, build fires from scratch, and hope that the well holds out, all while slowly wasting away into nothing. 

    "Kovi, hurry up in there," Connie said. "We're all hungry."

    Connie's my sister. When the plague got really bad, she took control, kept people isolated. Funny. She was only twenty-two years old, and taking care of a town who's population now numbered thirty one. Sure, there are people around here older than her, but none of them are as smart, and they don't know how to be leaders like her. 

    Well, I didn't either. With Connie around to overshadow me, I never bothered to try. If she wanted to take the spotlight, more power to her. That's not to say I wasn't jealous; of course I was. I wanted to be the special one, the one who always knew what to do. 

    I finished the stew a few minutes later and carried it out to the table Connie had set up in front of our house. Twenty-nine people were lined up, armed with their bowls and spoons, ready for the small meal that would barely keep them sated. It was better than nothing though. Better than being dead. 

    Once everyone had been fed, Connie and I split the remainder. It wasn't much, but Connie wanted the others to have as much as possible. Sometimes she would give me her share too, and it always left me feeling guilty. Until my stomach roared from hunger. 

    I was just putting the meal away when a man came tearing down the street. Dirt and hunger made us all look the same and I couldn't be bothered to remember his name. 

    "There's a group moving through. Rose spotted them when she was out picking berries. They're moving slow, but she says they'll be here soon," the man said, the words spilling out in a rush. 

    "Thank you, Dean. Kovi, go get Kellen and Dad's gun. Meet me at the edge of the town by the woods," Connie said. 

    I nodded and darted back in the house. Connie kept our Dad's gun in her room, fully loaded with the safety off. It was only a pistol, but it was the only thing we really had to defend ourselves. Kellen lived two houses down from us, and helped Connie with the overall organization of the remaining citizens, so it was only natural that Connie wanted her to come. Even if I thought I was more than enough support. 

    Kellen was eager to help, blond ponytail bouncing as we ran to join Connie. I always liked Kellen; she was beautiful, all long legs and powerful muscle, the fittest of us all. Not that she ever looked twice at me. 

    We arrived at Connie's side just as the party Dean had spoke of stepped out of the woods. I swung the gun up, aiming like Connie had taught me, at the apparent leader of the group. When his eyes met mine, my limbs turned to jello. They were red, a feral gleam in them that made my blood pump hot with fear. His hair was shaved close to his head, and a ragged scar cut its way up through his right eye. Tattoos littered his arms, but he was too far away for me to really see what they were. Something was on his back, its rusted handle jutting out over his shoulder. 

    Standing next to him was a woman whose appearance chilled me as much as his burned. Misty ice crawled up her forearms, dark blue hair sweeping over one of her bright blue eyes. We were dealing with Conduits, something people in my town spoke of often but had never seen. I fired. 

    The shot went wide and the man didn't even flinch, instead breaking into a crooked grin. 

    "Kovi!" Connie shouted, jerking my arm down and wrenching the gun away. 

    "I-I'm sorry." My voice cracked. The man's grin widened and I felt my face heat. 

    "It's alright. We understand if you're scared," the man said. "I'm Cole. And this is Kuo."

    "Why are you here?" Connie's voice was firmer and her hand didn't shake as she leveled the gun at Cole. 

    "Let's talk in town," Cole said, his voice not open at all for argument. 

    "Just you," Connie said. "Forgive my suspicions."

    I glanced past Cole to the group of ten or so people gathered behind them. My eyes met those of a tall boy, possibly my age. They were green, and impossibly large as he stared at me, almost through me. Then, just the smallest twitch. Shaking his head. 

    "Connie...maybe we should just send them on their way," I murmured. 

    "I insist," Cole said, already walking forward. 

    Connie just rolled her eyes at me and walked after Cole, keeping the gun pressed to the back of his head as we walked. He strode confidently, all strong grace and power, like a tiger in human form. Kellen and I trailed after them, and I shot a hurried glance behind me, looking for the boy who I had thought was warning me. He was gone. 

    As we entered the town, people began to emerge, staring at our odd procession with wide eyes; it had been awhile since Connie had allowed anyone to come inside. People began to gather, and Cole came to a halt, his body relaxed. Then, before anyone could move, he whirled, grabbing Connie's arm and kicking her in the stomach. The gun fell and Connie's body hit the ground. A sharp pain arched through my head and my vision spun away from me, screams echoing in my ears. 

 

-.-

 

    When I woke, Cole was standing above me. His eyes still glowed, and he still wore that smile. "I had a feeling you'd be one of them."

    I jolted up. "Connie! Where is she?" My head exploded from pain but I ignored it, glancing this way and that, looking for a sign of...anything. But there was nothing. I was surrounded by charred bones, and yet the houses still stood, untouched by the fire that had burned the remains of...were they people I knew? Was that what I was seeing? "What did you-"

    My question was cut off as I was kicked to the ground. "Stop squealing. You have a choice, right now." Cole ground his boot into the small of my back as I writhed, trying to break free of the unshakable grip. "You're a Conduit now. Either you come with me, or I kill you."

    "Fuck! I'll go with you, Jesus Christ!" I shouted, the effort splitting my skull with pain. "Just...tell me what you did."

    The pressure left my back and I rolled over, propping myself up on my elbows as I looked up at Cole. His expression was grim as he folded his arms across his chest, as if he was weighing the words in his mind. "I got rid of anyone who didn't carry the Conduit gene. Anyone who didn't deserve to live is now gone. It's survival of the fittest now. And you're one of the fittest."

    "That's...that's crazy! Kellen was way more athletic than me..." I was aware that I wasn't making much sense, it's not like he knew who Kellen was, but at that point I didn't care. All I wanted was for everything else to make sense. Cole didn't seem to be interested in enlightening me though. "Please...just. I don't know what's going on. I don't even know who you are!"

    "I'm the Beast. The plague either kills you or I awaken the Conduit gene. The plague would kill you all, but my powers can save the Conduits. I'm saving mankind from its own destruction and creating a race that will survive."

    "But I can't be a Conduit! I'm not special! Connie's the important one. Why am I alive when she's..." I trailed off, staring at one of the skeletons with their charred bones and fragmented bits.

    "That's just it." At some point, Cole had leaned to crouch down over me, his face inches from my own. Up close, his red eyes are painful to look at. Emotions were at war within them: pain, excitement, agony, sorrow, glee. His veins arched through every line of his face; it was frightening and fascinating all at the same time, and I wanted to get closer. "Now, you  _are_  special. You're the one who's important. You're the one with...power."

    He leaned back and stood up once more, extending his hand. Those words were all I needed to hear. Words I had always been denied. And now this man...this...superhuman, had told  _me_ that  _I_ meant something. That I was more than all of those people who had put me down and kicked me to the side, telling me I was insignificant and worthless. That I was the one meant to survive. 

    I took his hand. It was scalding hot but I kept my grip firm as I stood, unable to look away form his hypnotizing gaze. 

    "Can you feel the power, Kovi? Do you feel it?" He released my hand to grab my forearm, and I gasped, head bowing down as pain shot up my arm. "It's under there, deep within you. I've activated it, now you need to show me what you can do."

    He shoved me back, and a bolt of electricity raced down his arm and stabbed at my chest. I cried out, body convulsing at the shock. It felt like my heart was stopping and starting all over again, but all at once, my feet planted themselves firmly on the ground. With a shout, I brought my arms up and then  _something_  happened. The shock stopped and when my mind finally started working again, vines were protruding from my arms, just beneath my elbow, and were wrapped tightly around Cole's wrists, locking them together. I stared in awe at the seamless blend of plant and skin, marveling at how I felt no pain, marveling at the sense of power that rushed through me. 

    When my eyes met Cole's, I could see my delight mirrored in his eyes. "Yes. You'll do. You have amazing instincts. Now retract them."

    He flexed his hands and my vines snapped, falling limp to the ground. "How?"

    "Just think about what you want to happen," he said, his voice surprisingly patient. 

    I did as he ordered, and just like that, the vines began to slither in, slipping beneath my skin and vanishing without a single flash of pain. "Is...is this what a Conduit is?"

    "We all have control over something. It's what sets us apart from the others," Cole said, moving towards me. "Now tell me, Kovi. Can you leave your old life behind? We have work to do, and if you're going to get caught up in all of this-" He gestured around him at the barren wasteland "-you better tell me now."

    My mind was still numb from the shock of everything, but when he asked me that question, I knew my answer. Life had been pointless and meaningless before. This man had restored my hope, my desire to be alive. I met his eyes. "I'll join you. And I won't look back."

    "Good."

    He turned and began to walk, confident that I would follow. I glanced around quickly, and spotted what I wanted. Dad's pistol, shining in the setting sun. I checked to see that Cole wasn't looking, then snatched it off the ground, clicking the safety back on before following after him. 

 

-.-

 

    Cole pushed us hard. Kuo worked to train some of the other Conduits Cole had gathered. We numbered in the hundreds, and for an hour each morning and each night, we would work together at mastering our new found powers. I found that I didn't often talk with my comrades. They didn't interest me. I knew that in order to become worthy of Cole's attention, I would have to work harder than the rest to prove myself. For hree days, I didn't think about that boy I had seen just before Cole had been led into town. 

    And then I figured out what had happened to him without asking. 

    We were settling down for the night, unrolling our blankets and getting ready for sleep. The sound of hand smacking flesh echoed across the clearing, and all heads turned to see a girl slapping Cole across the face. He seized her wrist, nearly lifting her off the ground. She glared at him with defiant gray eyes, ice slithering off her free hand to stab at the man. It exploded and a bolt of lightning struck her side. 

    Her cry screeched through our ears, and while we all flinched, Cole remained unmoved. 

    "Do you mean to say you don't  _want_  to be a part of this?" Cole asked, voice soft. In the silence that her cry has created, we could all hear him crystal clear. 

    "If it means we're killing more innocent people, then no," she said. "Let me go. I'll leave, and I won't bother any of you. You can go on killing, but I refuse to be a part of it!"

    With a shout of rage, Cole threw her away, hard enough to make her fly through the air like a rag doll, all flailing limbs. A moment later, a bolt of lightning struck her body to the ground. When the smoke drifted away, there was nothing left at all. As I looked around, I saw only fear in the gazes around me. Fear that they would be next. Didn't any of them see that they were just like him? They were strong, powerful, we all were. We deserved to live! The others would've died out anyways, so what did it matter? We were just...speeding up the process. 

    A ragged sob split the air and a girl beside me fell to her knees. "Why? Why my sister? She was just-"

    Kuo shoved me aside and knelt beside the girl, a hand moving to silence her. "Cole. Leave it. I'll take care of this. Give her a chance."

    She looked up at Cole, who had at some point moved closer, looming over them, hands clenched tight, sparking with lightning as he glowered down at them. Her blue eyes were full of something I couldn't identify, and for a moment, Cole's gaze seems to soften, a moment of stable emotion before the torrent took over once more. 

    "She has until morning. If she runs, I won't chase," he said, so quiet I think I was the only one that heard besides Kuo. The rest of them had distanced themselves from the trio. 

    Kuo nodded and helped the weeping girl to her feet before walking off into the woods. Cole turned once to look at all of us. 

    "Practice. No slacking. You all need to adjust to your powers. Those who are more experienced, help the newest." He glanced around again then moved to disappear into the woods opposite of Kuo. 

    "Come on, newbie. I wanna see what you can do," a voice said. 

    I turned to see a tall boy looking down at me. His eyes were a deep blue, skin pale, with near white blond hair. His face was all angles, his nose turned up a little, as if he spent so much time sniffing down at the people beneath him that it got stuck like that. He was the epitome of all my bullies from before. 

    "Yeah, alright," I said. 

    He led me off deeper into the woods, and I could already tell that this wasn't going somewhere I wanted it to. I shook myself out of that fear of getting my ass kicked, reminding myself that I was better now, I was stronger. I wasn't going to let anyone tear me down, especially not some no-name shit head.

    "So you're new, aren't you? Picked you up in that hick town," he said, cracking his knuckles. "I've been with Cole's group for awhile, so I have a lot of things I could teach you, if you're willing to listen."

    He whirled, and the sound of a tree branch cracking rent the air. Moments later, the branch flew towards my head. I ducked, just barely managing to dodge as adrenaline kicked in and started pumping through me. The kid's expression grew angry, eyes narrowing before he pointed his hand towards a small tree, clenching his fist tight and then releasing it. I stared in awe as the tree uprooted itself, dirt shaking loose as he moved his hand up and down.

    He grinned as he looked back at me. A flick of his wrist and the tree spun in the air, parts of it breaking off as it hit other, bigger trees. With a grunt he made a throwing motion. I was ready for it this time, planting my feet and holding my hands out in front of me, letting the power roar through me. Vines shot forward, springing from my arms like so much rope, wrapping tight around the trunk and holding it aloft. The effort made my arms shake but I just grit my teeth and bore down on the power and forced the vines to pull the heavy weight up higher. Once it was out of the way, I could see his eyes, see the glee turn to wonder, then fear. 

    That look was delicious. With a shout, I hurled the tree forward. The force brought me to my knees and my breath whooshed out in one big rush. My stomach rolled. The boy managed to escape the blow just barely, and he lay panting on the ground across from me and beyond him were four felled trees, the smaller tree resting on top of them. Their roots were twisted and gnarled, out of place out in the open as they were. I held my hand out, digging deep as I called them forward. They lengthened and stretched, trying to obey my command, but my concentration was sketchy at best. But it was enough. 

    The boy began to struggle as the roots wound around his limbs, sinking into the ground and holding him down. I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, vomiting as my vision spun from the exertion of keeping him held down, but I knew I couldn't let him up. If I did, he'd take me out with another tree, and I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid him this time. Wiping my hands on the ground, I stood up, keenly aware of how much I wobbled and wavered. 

    A moment later, ice shot past me, cutting the ties I had worked so strenuously to create. Cold washed over me, and then Kuo was standing between us, her back to me. 

    "Are you insane, Davin? You know he's not strong enough to handle that sort of power yet!" she shouted. 

    "He seemed fine enough to me," Cole's voice said. 

    I tried to turn around but stumbled forward. Right before I face planted, he caught me, arm wrapped tight around my middle and pushing me back upright. The touch seared and I turned my head to look up at him only to see he was staring at Kuo, the twisted, crooked smile on his lips. I wished for a moment that he was grinning at me.

    "What are you talking about?" Kuo asked. 

    "He managed to stop that tree from bashing his brains out. Pretty impressive, I'd say," Cole said. 

    "Cole, that isn't the point!"

    "You're right. Davin, you're not allowed to use your powers this week. Think twice before trying to kill someone," Cole said. 

    "It's not like you do."

    The air turned cold at Davin's words, but Cole didn't attack him as both Kuo and I expected him to. "Don't make me angry, Davin. Go back to camp and start getting the food rationed out appropriately. Kuo, you take over Kovi's training for the day."

    "Cole, look at him. Does he look like he's ready to fight?"

    Cole looked down at me and I was unable to suppress my shudder at his harsh gaze. "Perhaps you're right. Can you walk?"

    "Y-Yeah." I hated how weak my voice sounded, but it couldn't be helped. 

    I tried, only to end up leaning on Cole. From the way he shifted away as much as possible from my weight, I could tell he didn't want to help me, but I was thankful anyways. Perhaps I had pleased him enough for him to make for this small allowance.

 

-.-

 

    If I had thought my display of power would win me any points, I was proven wrong. In the next week, my food was poisoned twice. The only reason I lived through it was one of the Conduits noticed the symptoms and was able to purge my system. Her name was Sedona. When I had stumbled on my way to my bedroll, she checked on me to see if I was alright. As soon as she touched me, she shoved me to the ground and shoved her hand under my shirt to touch my stomach. 

    It felt like small shocks of lightning were coursing through me and after awhile, she pulled away. "There was poison within you. A few more minutes and you would've slipped into a coma."

    I had stared at her wide brown eyes, framed by thick locks of red hair, unsure of how to deal with what she was telling me, unsure of how she even knew. She didn't elaborate though, instead leaving for her own bedroll. The next day, she found an excuse to brush up against me after every meal, never saying a word. We seemed to be in a mutual agreement not to tell anyone, but the second time it happened, we had no choice. 

    I collapsed during training. I wasn't aware of what happened then, but afterwards, Sedona informed me that I had been convulsing on the ground and she had to once more cure my body of the poison within it. That time though, we couldn't avoid telling someone. That time, Cole had forced us to talk. 

    He dragged us away from the others. They were all bedding down after it had been determined that I would live, and I had a feeling Cole was going to rip us both apart for my being weak and her helping me. It was survival of the fittest after all. 

    "So, you have one chance to tell me what happened. If you walk away, and it happens again, I will get rid of you both. I do not want any disruptions," Cole said. His eyes let us know that he was not joking. 

    Sedona's hand reached over to lightly grab my wrist, her small, pale hand wrapping tightly around my tan one. "Nothing is wrong. We'll deal with it."

    I wanted to tell her to shut up, wanted to tell Cole someone was out to get me, someone wanted me dead and it was probably Davin. But instead I just nodded my agreement. "We'll deal with the problem ourselves. I can't guarantee there won't be any disruptions though. I'll be more careful."

    Cole's eyes were unreadable as he trained them on me. I was getting used to that gaze after all of this time, so I didn't feel like my knees were going to give out. "I appreciate that you are both willing to take care of yourselves. This should be an interesting string of events. Carry on then."

    He walked away, back to camp, and when I moved to follow after him, Sedona stopped me with a light pressure on my wrist. I turned towards her, surprised to see the timid look from her eyes gone. 

    "We have to be careful, Kovi. Maybe you should get your own meals," she said. 

    "Why do you even care? I don't even really know you," I said. "I don't even know what your power is."

    She shrugged. "I'm a Conduit for energy. Cole was angry when he found out I couldn't fight, but it turns out I'm able to tell when someone is sick, and I can cure...a lot of things. We don't know the actual limits yet, and to be honest, a part of me doesn't want to figure out what those limits are. Anyways...that's how I knew what was wrong with you."

    "So I guess we should just stick close to each other," I said. "You think you could detect the poison in my food before I eat it? Do you think they'll try again?"

    "Who knows? Just because we're a higher evolution doesn't mean we don't have our fair share of idiots too."

    I laughed, for the first time in awhile, at her words. It had been lonely these past few days, not making any friends, and generally avoiding people. I had shoved all thoughts of my past life out of my mind, and it was really for the best. I had seen what Cole had done when someone protested, but in a strange, twisted way, I approved of what he was doing. In this world, he couldn't allow dissent to grow.

    Part of me, the old part, protested. But during the week, I had already changed in ways I didn't think were possible, forgotten who had once mattered. Which begged the question of whether or not those people had ever truly been important at all. Which just led to more thoughts I didn't really care to think at this point. 

    "It's hard making friends like this," Sedona said quietly as we meandered our way back to camp. "There's so many of us, but we're pushing so hard that it's like we never have time to socialize with each other. Isn't that a little...strange?"

    "I guess I haven't noticed. I've only been here a week." I didn't mentioned how nervous I was by how I had adapted to the change as if it were nothing. I couldn't admit I was scared, not to anyone.     

    "And isn't it odd that only teenagers and young adults are with us? You don't see anyone over forty in the group," she said.

    "Would you stop?" I asked. "You're just jumping at shadows."

    She raised a slim red eyebrow at my words but just shrugged again. "Okay."

    She headed back and I trailed after her, trying to ignore her observations. I didn't want to break the illusion I had managed to build for myself these past few days. Perhaps it was immature, but if ignorance was bliss, I wanted to stay ignorant. 

 

\--

 

    My first experience with how deadly Cole's quest was came the next day. Kuo had mentioned that morning to me during training that we were leaving the backwater land I was born in and were approaching a major city, and where there were major cities, there was opposition to their mission. I don't know what it was that made me want to be on their side. Was it because Cole had saved me? Was it because I wanted to destroy anyone weaker than myself?

    Those questions weren't relevant, so I learned later. The reason I fought with Cole and the others, is because when a fighter jet is trying to shoot you down, you fight with whoever isn't fighting you.

    It started a few miles outside of Mayfield. The forest opened up to wide fields, split by a large interstate highway. My first instinct would be to go around the city, but Cole led us all right up onto the empty highway, his stride not faltering as he headed down the hot pavement, hand on the odd weapon he carried on his back. I found myself next to Kuo as we followed after him and couldn't help but ask what was going on. There hadn't been much time for questions, and really, it seemed like I was only following them because it was the only thing that was really offered to me at the time. 

    "What exactly are we doing?" I asked. 

    "The bigger cities know about us," Kuo said. "We've been moving west for months, and the army has been mobilized against us. In your town it was easy to just walk in because you didn't know anything. This city will be well prepared."   

     As she spoke, the sound of planes taking off reached my ears, and I watched as they shot up into the air over the towering skyscrapers, their metal glinting in the sunlight as they streaked towards us. Cole drew his weapon, lightning sparking off its tips as he did so. The lightning stretched to the sky, blowing up one of the planes before it could fire off any shots. A moment later, a girl ran past me, streaking straight into the air towards the next one. She flipped once, blond hair flying about her. For a moment, I thought I was looking at Kellen, but I shoved that thought away, buried it deep. Her feet slammed into the next jet and it careened out of control, crashing into the ground, still a good ways off from us. 

    "That's Naomi. She can fly and has better than average strength, as you can see. She's one of the ones that's been with us since New Marias," Kuo said. "Just leave this fight to the experienced ones. You can join in later."

    With that, she vanished in a spray of cold air, appearing next to Cole. Their arms brushed and then they vanished together, Naomi following soon after. They appeared once more further down the road. The other Conduits and I just stood by and watched as jet fighter after jet fighter fell to their power, crashing into a burning heap in the fields surrounding the highway. A hand brushed mine and I turned to see Sedona beside me, a curious expression on her face. 

    "Cole always travels to the center of the city before he unleashes his power. I don't know why. Maybe that's the way to affect the most people or something. I just...don't understand why all this killing has to happen," she said. 

    I didn't respond. The words were too close to what that other girl had said before Cole had destroyed her, and I didn't want to be overheard agreeing, or even talking about it. "So what do we do? Just sit here and wait?"

    "You'll see."

    Cryptic as it was, there wasn't much more I could do. I could follow after them but it probably wouldn't end very well; I'd probably end up pissing myself out of fear. I hadn't forgotten my incident with Davin, and a jet fighter was a hell of a lot heavier than a tree, that was for sure. So instead we waited, watching as Cole, Kuo, and Naomi disappeared within the city. We could hear the gunfire, the sirens, and the screech of metal. The occasional explosion would rock the earth beneath us, but no one seemed disturbed by it, as if this were all routine. Maybe that's because it was. 

    And that's when it happened. An explosion bigger than the rest, something that engulfed the whole of the city in it's flames, and yet at the same time, the buildings did not crumble, did not even waver. Everyone looked on with blank expressions as screams, thousands of screams rose up into the air, piercing my mind. Sedona's hand wrapped around my wrist as the screams went on and on, never ceasing, for what felt like hours. Eventually, the sphere of fire collapsed back inwards.

    "How...what just happened?" I asked. 

    "That explosion was Cole sending out a whole bunch of energy. It stimulates the Conduits and kills everyone else. If they're close enough to the blast they'll...they'll be burned away. The rest...well, it just looks like they're sleeping," Sedona said, her hand slipping down to thread through my own. 

    In my old life, my heart would be thudding that such a beautiful girl was holding my hand, but right now, I needed all the reassurance I could get that this was real, that what I was living was real, so I just clutched her hand. 

    "Come on, they're going to need help in the aftermath," she said as the other Conduits began to walk down the road. 

    "What aftermath?"

    "They say every one in every one thousand people is a Conduit. In all honesty, Cole didn't expect to see a single Conduit come out of your town. And then you did. Well in a city this big, there's going to be quite a few new ones, and they'll need help adjusting. Not everyone just accepts their fate like you did," Sedona said. "And those that protest too much...you'll see."

    When we entered the city, the group split up like a well oiled machine, sweeping out into the surrounding buildings to begin the search for surviving Conduits. Sedona dragged me straight through, past the abandoned cars, the wreckage, until finally we reached Cole and Kuo, standing in the middle of the street. A few people were staggering to their feet around them, clutching their heads and gazing around with confused expressions. 

    "Cole," Sedona said, waving her hand as she released mine. "What are we to do with Kovi?"

    Cole held up his hand for silence, turning towards the people approaching him. There were four in all. One was a young girl, around eleven or twelve I would say. Tears streaked her face as she looked up at him, expression almost like that of a puppy in it's naivety. Cole's gaze softened for a moment and he reached out to place a soot streaked hand on her head. She stiffened and then fell to the ground, dirty blond hair spreading out like a fan around her head. Her eyes were wide, staring into nothing. 

    "What did you do!" a woman cried. Her hair was the same shade of blond, dirt and soot matting it into tangled locks as she fell to her knees beside the small girl. "Why would you...kill anyone, let alone a child?"

    Cole brought his amp down from where it had been resting across his shoulder. "The young are weak. They'll only drag humanity down in the end. She wouldn't survive these harsh conditions we now live in. It is a mercy to her."

    Sedona's hand found mine once more as a tear made it's way down Cole's cheek. He didn't pay it any mind, and his eyes were still the torrent of mixed emotions. He licked his lips, then raised the amp high above his head, bringing it down over the woman's head. Bright light flared, and when I could finally see again, the four conduits were dead, limp on the ground. He turned his back to us, and Kuo stepped forward, an icy hand touching his shoulder. I started forward, but Sedona's hand stopped me. 

    "I can't...can't let them know I killed her. I don't want them to see what I've-" His voice grew too quiet for us to hear. "Zeke wouldn't...I just..."

    "We're doing the right thing," Kuo murmured, arm looping around his waist as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

    Sedona coughed, and the pair turned to look at us. Cole's expression hardened at once. 

    "Take him to the outskirts. Check the houses around there, then wait at the edge of the city," Cole said. "We'll meet there with the new Conduits in two hours."

    "Cole," I began, stepping forward. "I...I don't understand. Could you-"

    "Now is not the time," Kuo said, blue eyes flashing. 

    I wanted to be angry at her, but when I met her eyes, I could see a deep pain reflected in them, and thought better of it. So I nodded instead and let Sedona drag me away. It was difficult, seeing all that destruction, seeing all the corpses that littered the street. The further out we went, the worse it became. People were slumped against the wall, eyes wide but seeing nothing at all. It was better just seeing the skeletons; skeletons didn't have a face. 

    Near the outer edge of the city, Sedona began to lead me through alleyways. There we found people hunkered over, hands laced over their heads, but from the smell we could tell they were dead. Near the end of an alleyway, we paused at an odd sight. There was a girl, and a young boy. The girl was clutching the boy, but the boy didn't appear to have died from Cole's blast. His leg was broken and held at an awkward angle, his head bloody and bruised in such a manner that I couldn't look for longer than a moment. Tears streaked the girl's face and on closer examination, we could tell that she was still breathing. 

    Her brown hair was cropped short, just barely covering the tips of her ears, and her face was streaked with dirt, but so was everyone else's at this point, so it wasn't that odd to see. She had an odd face, neither ugly nor pretty, a strange mix of feminine and masculine. Androgynous almost. 

    "Is she a Conduit?" I asked. "The others are already awake at this point, so shouldn't she?"

    "Not everyone awakens immediately," Sedona said, kneeling beside her. She pressed her hands to the girl's arm, eyes closing. A soft green glow came from her fingertips before slipping away from my vision. "She's a Conduit alright. I can feel it." 

    "So do we wake her up?" I asked. 

    Sedona bit her lip, tucking a lock of red hair behind her ear. "Can't we just leave her Kovi? Just...let her make her own choice, without the threat of death looming over her head. I don't...I don't want to wake her only to have another incident like before happen. I can't...I can't watch Cole kill anyone else like he did that girl."

    Her brown eyes overflowed with tears and she covered her face, shoulders shaking. "She shouldn't have slapped him, I get that, okay? It's just...why can't he just let us go if we want to go!"

    I glanced around, hoping there weren't any Conduits nearby to hear what she was saying. I'd never had to deal with a crying girl in my life. To be honest, I never had to deal with girls ever. I patted her on the shoulder, unsure of what she wanted me to do. A few moments later she pulled herself together. 

    "Okay. Let's go. We'll leave her here, alright?" I grabbed her elbow and began tugging her out of the alleyway. "Just...remember not to say anything to Cole."

     She nodded, moving in to lean on me. I fought the urge to kiss her forehead. Trust me, it wasn't something romantic at all. Kind've like...that brotherly love. I had to stop that thought because it made me think of the girl we had just left behind. The two had looked like siblings. And he was dead now. What would she do when she awoke? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! We actually got around to updating this, whoops :D sorry for the delay. Hope everyone enjoys a new chapter!

    _"There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it."_

-Buddha

 

_Kira's POV_

   They say every change is different, every shift an experience. In my case, there was pain.

    To be honest, I’m not sure how it happened. A rush? A burning? A feeling of power?

    I was asleep. Kind of pathetic, when I look back. The most life-changing moment of my existence and I was unconscious. But that’s kind of how it works, isn’t it? The important things, the things that really matter – those are the things we want to forget, the ones that we hide in the back of our mind.

    Desolation. That was what I saw. Well, actually, it’s not what I saw – it’s what I heard. In a city that was supposed to be filled with life, sounds, and sights, the very air was now dead. It was eerie, the lack of life – as though some vengeful god had come down and crushed the very essence that made a city survive and just left a hollowed out shell.

    I absentmindedly tried rubbing the blood off my hands as I glanced around. The wind whistled softly, stirring my short brown hair, sending my clothing into fitful movements. The sidewalks weren’t empty, far from it – bodies littered the streets, all expressions equally dead and unmoving from what I could see. Cars were in various stages of disarray on the streets, some crashed into the backs of others, each of them with a slumped form at the wheel. I absorbed it in a second hand way, my body still working through the intense stabbing of the headache.

    Mayfield City. My home, for many long years, now just a…nothing. Just a huge casket for all of these bodies. So why did I feel empty? Why wasn’t I crying? I knew I could – the tear streaks on my face accounted for that. I rubbed my hands more vigorously on my now stained pants before I started walking.

    What could destroy a city like this? No, not a city…a people. The city was fine – it was the people that were gone. So why was I still here? One heard the usual rumors, of course…were they true? Was there really a demon traveling across the country with eyes of fire that sucked the life from those he approached?

    Impossible…right?

    I stumbled, my foot catching on a splayed limb, before falling to the ground, the sting sharp against my hands. A face stared back at me. One I recognized. Not a friend (did I even have friends in this city?), but a face I’d seen before nonetheless. The woman who worked behind the counter at a grocery store I frequented. I recognized the soft crinkle of laugh lines around her mouth, which showed a lifetime of joy and contentment. Gone. All gone.

    An absurd thought came to me.  _Why do I always sleep through the best parts?_

    I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. I sat there, in the midst of piles of bodies, on a sidewalk of Mayfield City, laughing until my stomach ached. The headache only intensified.

    After a few minutes, I caught my breath, realizing how strange I must’ve looked. What did it matter? No one was there to see me, to judge. Staring eyes everywhere, but none of them accusing. The least judgmental city in the world. When it finally didn’t matter to me anymore is when it all changed.

    I climbed back to my feet, brushing off the dirt on my hands, pointedly ignoring the discoloration on my pants, and began walking once again, towards the center of town. Everywhere I went was the same – the same emptiness and stillness, mirrored in every store window and the sheen of the skyscrapers. And of course, the bodies.

    So peaceful. The ones with their eyes open – well, I couldn’t meet their cold gaze. But the ones with their eyes closed…they were only sleeping, awaiting the moment where I would shake their shoulders. I never did, though. After that first fall, I tried to avoid touching any of them, and ended up walking on the street, threading through the cars.

    The headache almost made it easier, made it so much easier to forget and ignore. I wasn’t stupid; I knew I was falling into some sort of state of shock. Yet it was my body’s instinct to survive, and to do that I had to reject the horrors around me and focus on –

    I froze and dove behind a taxi at the careful sound of footsteps on the pavement. A survivor, like myself? Or…something worse?

    Fear pain anger confusion hatedangerfearpainpainpain –

    I clutched my head in both hands, feeling an unusual sensation of – of – of _something_. Resolutely, I pushed it away, ignoring the strange stinging that traveled across my body. Time for that later. Ha. If there was a later for me.

    I stood slowly, facing the direction of the footsteps. And what I saw was not what I expected.

    A boy stood there – a young adult, I suppose, around the same age as me, entering his late teenage years. He had the most piercing eyes, a shocking shade of orange that almost glowed. He was ragged and torn, his black hair mussed and matted, his clothing dusty and torn – but he was gloriously alive.

 _Alive._ Funny how rare that word became.

    For a second, there was stunned silence as we took each other in. I saw his eyes flick over me, taking in the boyish haircut, the bloodstains on my clothes, my equally disheveled state.

    The silence held its breath. It was as though neither of us wanted to break this quiet that had settled, for fear that the answers to our questions would not be what we wanted.

    He spoke first. “Are you…” he began. The words echoed off the walls and stirred the air. I shivered slightly at the sound, half expecting the prone forms to stir at the noise.

    I shook my head slightly, unsure of how to respond. “…were you…were you awake when it happened?” For some reason, it seemed of grave importance to me that I understand what had happened here. In this city. Not my city; never my city. Just…a city.

    His lips pulled down; a disbelieving crinkle appeared between his eyebrows. He appeared as though he was judging the merit of my words. “Why? What were you doing?” The words, snapped out, sounded almost harsh.

    I shook my head again. “I was…distracted. Asleep. When I woke up…”

    His look turned to incredulity. “How could you sleep through that? You could hear the planes crash from everywhere. And the screams…how could you sleep through _that_?”

    I drew a hand across my face, wondering the same question, but I had to pull away sharply as the metallic scent of blood hit my nostrils.

The boy glanced to his right, towards the center of the city. Whether or not he believed me, he answered, “They came, just like they said they would. And they destroyed everything.”

    “Who?”

    “The Beast.”

    I frowned. “So he wasn’t just a rumor.”

    The boy’s smile was bitter. “I don’t know what he did. But it tore through the city, killing everyone in its path.”

    “Not everyone.”

    “What?”

    “Not everyone,” I repeated. “We’re still here.”

    “…are we?” he asked, and for some reason it didn’t sound condescending.

    “What exactly did he do? And why are we still here?”

    “They say that he takes them with him.”

    “Huh? Who?” Did this guy ever make sense?

    “The ones who live. The Conduits.”

    That sent a chill through my veins. “…are you saying we’re…?”

    “Your eyes.”

    “My…?”

    “They’re purple.”

    Unconsciously, my fingers rose to my face. Hastily I turned to the window of the taxi, my blurred reflection staring back at me – and a pair of disbelieving eyes as well looking out of a dead body, the face pale and still.

I stumbled back, slamming into the car just behind me, breathing hard. A thousand faces I’d seen and somehow it stunned me.

    “Why didn’t they take you?”

    The question filtered through my drowning mind. “Who…who would take me?”

    “People. Other Conduits.”

 _Other Conduits. Like me._  Oh God.

    “They came through here, looking for people left alive. I hid. That’s why I’m still here. If they support the man that did all this…” His burning eyes took in the wretchedness. “…then I will never fight with them.”

    Deep breaths. Calm. Deny reality, don’t let it invade your senses.

    “ _Never_ ,” I whispered. It felt right, somehow. It summed up a lot of what was happening.

    “What can you do?” the boy asked.

    “What…do you mean?”

    “Your powers. They could come in handy.” His lifted his hand, spreading his fingers. An instant of expectation and concentration, then a small flame kindled to life on his hand, the flames flickering in the wind.

    He clenched his fist and it vanished. “I can’t hold it for very long. Not yet, anyway.”

    Something inside me had cringed at this display of raw power and I found myself taking a step back. “I…I can’t…”

    “You can do something, or you wouldn’t be alive. Go on. Try it. Just…concentrate. See what happens.”

    Here we were, standing in the remains of a city…and he wanted to waste time seeing what our superpowers were? It seemed ridiculous. But then again, everything in this environment was somehow surreal.

    I was curious too, I admit it. What had happened to me? What inside me had changed? What did I now have control over?

    I let out a breath, knowing I was too interested to just let it go. I closed my eyes.

    Concentrate, he said. What did that even mean? Like…meditate?

    I loosened stiff muscles, relaxing, trying to let the worries slide away though that was nearly impossible. I…I somehow let myself unwind, freeing myself of restraints –

    Confusion pain anger amusement distrustexasperationanger, emotions running through me like soft rain, the feelings somehow foreign and yet familiar. These weren’t… _my_  feelings, were they?

    My eyelids lifted. No, they were  _his_  – the boy with his flaming eyes. Somehow I could tell they were, like how you identify a certain type of painting with an artist. Those feelings, they were his. I knew that.

    My hands starting shaking slightly. I could…feel them lingering, brushing my mind, and I wanted to reach out and  _twist_ , bend them until they were shaped the way I wanted.

    “I – “ The break in my voice started another wave of exasperation and anger from the boy, though his expression didn’t change.

    “Hey,” I snapped, his anger fueling my own – or maybe creating new anger in me, I’m not sure. “Sorry for not taking the total destruction of a city very well.”

    His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t say anything,” he retorted.

    I opened my mouth to retort, but what was I supposed to say? That I knew what he was feeling?

    Was this really my power…?

    I finally settled on, “What’s your name?”

    Confusion – probably from the abrupt subject change – washed through me before I determinedly blocked that part of my awareness.

    “My name? …Darian.”

    “I’m…Kira.” He probably noticed the pause but didn’t comment.

    Because now that’s what I am. Kira. A survivor. One who didn’t back down, who wasn’t afraid, and who could live through anything. That part of me I thought I had buried, had contained, yet in reality who was just waiting to be unleashed once again. A piece of me that had waited impatiently through 4 long years.

    I set my shoulders. Kira, now. Forever.

    I moved closer to the boy – Darian. He had a name now. “Well, do you want to travel together? Strength in numbers and all that.”

    “Travel? Where to?”

    “You know.” I waved a hand. “Away.”

    “Why should we leave? Everything you need to survive is right here.”

    I blinked at his logic. That was true. Two people living in the ruin of Mayfield City…we could easily live out our lives in comfort. Almost everyone had piles and piles of bottled water and food because of the plague.

    That’s right, the plague. In the midst of all my mental chaos I’d nearly forgotten.

Mayfield City was huge, rivaling New York. Because of that, the populace had gotten very good at ignoring things. The plague devastated the city and the hospitals were overflowing. In the alleys and streets were those too poor or too gone to care. Every day the people went by and every day they went about their own selective reality, choosing not to acknowledge those suffering around them. A world, falling to its knees, and those walking carefully on the edge, unaware and uncaring of the precipice below.

    I was not innocent of such accusations. But what did you do about an incurable, unstoppable disease? Apathy is never the answer, but it is an answer. And, as they say, ignorance is bliss.

    But the plague wouldn’t be a problem anymore, as long as I stayed away from the main water supplies and bodies.

    We  _could_  live in this city. It’d probably be the smart thing to do. It had everything we’d need to survive.

    Even so…

    “It doesn’t, you know, creep you out? All of this?” I asked, making a broad gesture.

    A troubled sense of unease wormed its way through my senses. “At this point, it doesn’t matter. It’s about survival.”

    I lifted an accusing finger. “You  _do_  care.”

    A scowl grew on his face. “It doesn’t matter.”

    I let out a laugh that came out as bitter. “Fine. If you want to live here among the corpses, be my guest. Personally, I think I’ll go crazy if I’m in this city another two minutes. I’m leaving.”

    His gaze swept over me, past me. “I don’t think we should…but fine.”

    I rolled my eyes. “You’re kind of hard to get along with, aren’t you?”

    He didn’t directly respond. “What can you do?”

    “What?”

    “What’s your power? I can tell you know, I can see it on your face.”

    “I…don’t really want to talk about it.”

    “Tell me.”

    “Persistent bastard, eh?”

    “Tell me, or I won’t go with you.”

    I let out a lengthy sigh. “That type, huh.”

    He just glared.

    I averted my eyes. “…emotions, ok? I can feel them. And I think I can manipulate them somehow. But I didn’t,” I was quick to add. “It kind of…scared me. Happy now?”

    “Yeah,” he said quietly. A pause. “…thanks.”

    “Huh? What for?”

    He trotted past me. “It’s nothing.”

    I rolled my eyes again, turning to follow. “Of course.” I caught up to him.

    “We’ll need supplies. Water. Food.”

    “A car,” I supplied.

    “Something like that,” he half-agreed.

    Darian, predictably, ignored me.

    “You know,” I said amiably, stepping over the bodies on the sidewalk, “this could be the start of a great friendship.” Then I let out a laugh that had a bit too much of an edge on it.

    Around us the city loomed. Our journey had only started. 


	3. Chapter 3

_"People do not lack strength; they lack will."_

-Victor Hugo

 

_Cole's POV  
_

When we came across that small town, I hadn't expected much. I thought it would be just like any other town we had come across; all infected, not a single one with the Conduit gene. Those were the towns I hated. It was easier to deal with those I had killed as long as something of value came out of it, and most times nothing did. 

    I thought this was going to be another day of useless death. 

    When I saw Kovi though, I thought perhaps not. His black hair hung in shaggy locks around a lightly tanned face, his liquid brown eyes trained on me over the barrel of his pistol. Within me, the Beast stirred, stretching its power within my chest, aching to be released. It was difficult to keep him down and quiet, difficult to keep the wall between us up when I wasn't using his power. Somehow, the Best could sense the thrumming power contained in Kovi, and when I looked closer I could see the Conduit gene lying dormant inside him.  I'm sure no one would suspect such power at first glance. He was all awkward gangly limbs with no muscle, and I could see his resolve crumbling as I stared him down. That weakness made me sick. It made me want to crush him, and yet some part of me was disgusted with that desire. When I finally released the Beast's power and engulfed the small town, I hoped my instincts were right, hoped that he would be powerful.

    I was not disappointed. 

    Kovi did not learn any faster than the others, and that _was_  a disappointment. Sure, he displayed quite a bit of power when under pressure, or under the threat of death, but then, so did everyone. 

    He has potential though. I saw the hunger in his eyes. The hunger for power I feel even now, after the Beast has given me his strength. It still gnaws at me, begs for more, and since there is nothing more to gain, I must continue this mission. When the mission is complete, maybe I will be sated.

    Something will have to give eventually. In Mayfield, I had to do it again. Had to stare down at a child, look at the innocence, that precious life, and destroy it. It was rare, for a child so young to survive, with or without the Conduit gene, but I knew deep down that there was no way she could survive in this world, and she would only drag the rest of us down. Even allowing the teenagers to survive was pushing it, they were always so emotional, and not as committed to the cause as the others. More times than not, I find myself having to put down rebellions that start up. 

    I cannot allow for dissent to grow. 

    Kovi saw what I did. He and Sedona. Sedona...I already know she's not devoted to our mission, but her powers are too useful to just destroy her. But seeing that look in his eye, that look of confusion blended with horror, made me feel...guilt for what I had done. So I ordered him away. I didn't want to see that look. Part of me didn't want to justify what I had done.

    Am I not devoted to this cause? Is feeling a little doubt wrong? Kuo assures me that we're doing the right thing, and I tell myself that I am. The Beast pushes me forward, and I just go with the motion. I don't want to examine my actions. 

    If I look too hard, I might be afraid of what I see. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Schizzar here, the one updates everything late cuz he's awful. But here's the next two chapters. This is one of the few times an interlude cuts between Kovi and Kira's point of view so don't be alarmed, it's structured that way on purpose haha. Enjoy! Comments are loved.

    _"Science has found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings."_

_-Helen Keller_

 

     My conscience fought with me all the way back to camp that day. The influx of new Conduits led to a few uncomfortable situations. More than once, new Conduits were destroyed, screaming that they hated the Beast, that they would never side with the Demon of Empire City. I didn't know what they meant; I didn't know the rumors the rest of the world had heard. 

    My old self protested that it was wrong, that these people didn't deserve to die, that what Cole was doing was wrong. That what he did to Connie and Kellen was wrong. That what he did to that little girl was _wrong._ But at the same time, I wanted to blind myself to his actions. He was doing this for the good of all of us. We all had the plague, and we would've all died anyways. Cole saved us. He saved the ones who mattered, and hastened the death of those who never had a chance to survive in the first place. 

    Wondering by myself wasn't going to help. I had to ask Cole. Had to know what he felt.

    As people settled in, the older Conduits comforting the new, I closed in on Cole. He was at the edge of camp, looking to Mayfield. It was far in the distance now, and the sun was just setting, glinting off the metal and casting shadows that stretched over the field. 

    "It's bright, isn't it?" Cole asked as I came up on his right side. "Twice as bright as I've ever seen."    

    I held my hand up to shield my eyes. "I guess." I turned my head to try and read his expression, not expecting to succeed, and was surprised to see that his eyes, for once, were stable. Crystal clear. Sorrow. That's what I saw. A pain I couldn't even begin to understand, that I didn't even _want_ to because who the hell would want to go through that much?

    "I had to Kovi. I hope you know that. I can't drag children like that into this world. It's better for them to go off peacefully," he said. "To save as many Conduits as I can...that's my mission, Kovi. I need to save as many people as I can from this plague. I can't create children Conduits though; it's just wrong. Teaching them from that age to fight. To kill."

    Lightning sparked off his fingertips, red, as if tainted with the blood of his victims. Cliché maybe, but true. 

    "It's not like I'm much older than she is though."

    "But you understand," Cole said, moving to sit down on the grass. "You understand the harsh realities of the world. You can make your own choices. You understand that things need to be sacrificed for the greater good. Everyone here does, but a child so young...no. All they would see is killing for no reason. It would be nice, to be so naive again."

    My eyes trail over him, taking in the scars on his face, his arms, and hands. The tattoos. The sallow skin and darkened veins. He'd seen more than I ever could hope to, and his body, his eyes, showed the price. I wished there was something I could do, something I could say that convince him that he was doing the right thing. 

    There, in that moment, I knew I would follow Cole to the end of the earth. He was some sort've...twisted savior in my mind. Powerful, unbeatable, but sacrificing everything so that we could survive and become stronger, mentally and physically. 

    "I'll follow you," I said. "You...you saved me. You've begun to show me what it means to really be alive and I...I have to make it up to you somehow."

    Cole looked up, and I was surprised to see that his eyes were still clear, and they still held that same emotion. "Good to hear that. I won't lead you wrong."

    I was struck by the urge to kiss him, and not in the same way I wanted to kiss Sedona. No, this is entirely different, and I decided that it would be best if I just did it. It wasn't like he was going to hurt me; not after he saved me. I leaned in, but at the last moment, my ankle gave out, and I ended up smacking my forehead into his. I sprawled on the ground next to him, trying to fight down my intense blush as I pushed myself back up into a sitting position beside him, the moment entirely gone. 

    Cole had an eyebrow crooked up, lips twisted in an odd smile, but that clear look in his eyes was gone now, replaced once more by the torrent. "You're tired. Go get some rest. We need to make some distance tomorrow. Spending so much time off the grid like that...makes me thirsty. I'd rather not have a repeat performance."

    I nodded, hoping maybe he hadn't noticed what I was going for. By the time I got back to camp and laid down on my cot, my heart had calmed down to a regular pace. I let my head rest on my arm, and drifted off to sleep. 

 

\--

 

    I awoke, gagged and bound to a tree in the middle of a forest. The nearest forest was a good few miles beyond Mayfield, so my location was puzzling. How I didn't wake up during the process was a wonder, but I didn't have time to think about it. From where the sun was, I'd say the Conduits had long ago moved out, leaving me...wherever here was. I twitched my fingers, glad to get some reaction out of them, though they tingled painfully at the action. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath the way Kuo had taught me when trying to access my powers. 

    Each time I did, the access came easier and easier, and the vines slid down my arms and wriggled up to twist about my face. I willed them to the gag, holding my head down as the vines twisted and pulled, which only served to make me wince as the rough cloth rubbed at my mouth. Eventually it loosened enough that I could spit it out, not that doing so would get me anywhere. What I really needed to do was break my bonds, but not matter how much I struggled, and no matter what I directed my vines to do, I could not undo the rope. 

    The sound of odd, mutated chattering reached my ears and I froze, eyes growing wide. The undergrowth crackled and popped, and out of the bushes came a completely disgusting creature. It's skin was stretched taunt over it's muscles, and it had a vaguely humanoid shape about it, though the most off setting part about it were the serrated blades that served as its arms. Its glowing red eyes turned on me and it shuffled closer, mouth stretching wide as tentacle like pincers near its lips twisted together.

    I snapped to it then, my adrenaline waking within me power I hadn't been able to access before. With a shout, my bonds broke, thick vines protruding out of my arms as they twisted together. The ropes had snapped, unable to contain the widening appendages that were my arms, not that I could see them under the writhing mass of plant life. I didn't allow myself to think about it, instead just stretching them towards the bizarre creature that had decided that it was the perfect time to attack me. 

    The vines twisted into a point and drilled into the creature as it leapt up, piercing its hide and dumping a thick, steaming green goo all over me. It squealed and writhed on the tip of my vine drill, finally going still. Panting, I slammed my arm down, flailing until the body flew off and hit a tree with a sickening crunch. I stared at the tip of my vines, startled at what I saw. Spiky thorns jutted out of the edges of the green vines, all wickedly sharp and now covered in the disgusting green goo that the creature had contained. 

    I began to panic then, unsure of how to retract the vines without causing serious injury to my own body. 

    "Well this is interesting."

    I whirled around, stumbling at the new weight on my arms. Kuo stood there, hand on her hip as she looked at me, eyes practically glowing. "Uh..."

    "How'd you end up all the way over here?" she asked. "We couldn't find you this morning, but we left anyways; Cole waits for no one, don't be offended." She circled around me, moving to tap her chin. "This is certainly odd. I've never seen you do this before, and I haven't seen one of those in...a long while." The ice Conduit turned to look at the creature, a troubled expression on her face, before turning to face me. "Well then, what are you waiting for?"    

    "How did you find me?" I asked, letting my arms fall. The thorns sunk into the ground. "I mean...I don't even know where I am."

    Kuo looked at me with something akin to disbelief on her expression. "We heard the Corrupted. Cole sent me to check it out, because he knows I'd know how to deal with it. We were just guessing that's what it was really; he's going to be just as surprised to know there was one all the way out here."

    "What do I do!" I didn't want to admit I was borderline hysteric, but she seemed to pick up on it from the way my voice cracked. "I don't know how I did this, it just sort've happened when that...thing, attacked me!"

    "Just retract it back like you normally do," she said with a shrug. "I can't see why it would effect you any differently then before."

    I closed my eyes tight and did as she ordered. The slithering feeling I had grown accustomed to didn't change, and the thorns slipped in without a hitch, the goo sliding off onto the ground before they fully retracted. I opened one eye and glanced down, half expecting to see my arm torn up and bleeding.

    My veins had grown dark, and were visible as black lines beneath my skin, twisting around my forearms. Off the thicker lines, smaller ones branched off, in some cases sharpening to a point, and in others just tapering off into nothing. 

    "I...I think I'm going to be sick," I said, looking back up at Kuo. 

    She had an amused smile on her face. "If you don't pass out first."

    "Wha-"

 

\--

 

    I awoke for the second time being carried by Cole. I started when my eyes open, instantly struggling against the confining grip until Kuo put a cool hand to my head, startling me into stillness at the cold touch. 

    "If you try and walk, you'll fall," Cole said, not looking down at me. "And you've already caused enough trouble."

    "I didn't-"

    Kuo gave an exasperated sigh and covered my mouth. My eyes widened as ice split from her hand, sealing my mouth shut as she pulled her hand away. I twisted my head to glare indignantly at her, but she was already gone. I had no choice but to settle in to Cole's strangely comforting grip and remain silent, trying not to think about how cold my mouth was. 

    Nervous, I looked back down at my arms, shuddering when I saw the twisted vines still writhed on my arms, only now they were moving, albeit slowly, but moving all the same. Sensing my shudder, Cole looked down at me. 

    "You're becoming stronger. Being a Conduit can twist your appearance, and as you grow, and your powers expand, your body starts to conform to it," Cole said. "Don't be afraid. I know you want to be strong. I can see that hunger in your eyes."

    I stared at him pointedly and he gave a chuckle. 

    "Kuo's back with the others, she won't notice," he said. 

    The ice shattered suddenly, splintering off and falling to the ground beneath us, crunching underfoot. "I don't want to be a freak."

    "Never a freak, Kovi. No. Other people only call us that because they're jealous," Cole said, looking forward again. "Now. I said I didn't want any more trouble from you. Then again, you also warned me that you couldn't promise there wouldn't be any more disturbances, so I can't really be angry. And...you have some new powers. So, I won't punish you."

    "I'm sorry," I said, staring down at my mutated arms. 

    "Don't apologize for power."

    Cole walked ahead of the others, always, so we reached the edge of the forest before anyone else. He set me down without much warning and I hit the ground with a thud, rolling onto my stomach and pushing myself up on trembling arms. I was able to stand after a few more moments, but my knees wobbled and my breath came in short gasps. 

    "What you fought were the Corrupted. I've only seen one or two outside of New Marias, and I didn't think we'd run into one out here," he said with a frown. "Do you think you can kill, Kovi?"

    I swallowed thickly, staring out at the city that lay sprawling before us. We were still far enough away, and under the protection of the trees, that no alarms had been sounded about the Beast storming through, so we could talk for a little while. "I don't know. I think I'd be so scared I'd piss my pants first."

    "Honest. Well done," he said. "I guess you'll have to wait until next time then."

    "What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him. "We're going to attack them today? But won't that mean we spend the night in there? It's almost noon, and the last city took hours."

    "If we work fast, we'll be fine," Cole said with a shrug. "I'll ask you again. Do you think you can kill, Kovi?"

    I turned my gaze back to the city. Could I kill those who fought against us? What if they were my age, younger? Could I bring myself to rob another of their life? "They...they think we're freaks, don't they? For having powers?"

    "What, you want me to justify it for you?" 

    Cole rounded on me, gripping my arms tight. I gasped as pain shot up them once more, my flesh tender from their new mutations, and I struggled to meet his gaze. "How's this for justification? If you walked in there, right now, they would shoot you on sight. You wouldn't even have to harm a little hair on their heads. One look at these-" He brought my arm up, forcing me to look at the shifting lines beneath my skin, and I pulled away, wishing it wasn't a part of me. "And they'll shoot you. You have no reason to pity them; they're all going to die anyways! I'm doing them a favor. You'd be helping me. Don't you want to help me? Didn't you say you wanted to make it up to me?"

    I took in a sharp breath, looking down at my arms. Sure...they were gross, but I guess I'd get used to it. And it was a sign of my power wasn't it? A sign that I was different, that I was significant? Could I really kill though? Could I cast aside everything I had believed?

    "Yeah. I did say that," I said quietly. "I can kill. I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt you, or me. We're doing humanity a favor."

    Cole gave a small hum of satisfaction. "That's it Kovi. Now, you just came into your new powers, I know, but let me show you something." He grabbed my wrist, his grip much lighter, and tugged me down to sit next to the tree. "When I used to get hurt or tired, I would heal myself by absorbing the electricity of the machines around me. I bet you could do the same. Absorb the life of the plants. Heal your body."

    I closed my eyes, pressing my hands to the rough bark, and focused. It was much easier to focus now that Cole and I had talked. What he said made sense, and I knew that I would follow him and if that meant going into a city and destroying the dissenters, then I would do just that. I couldn't afford to doubt myself anymore. As we sat beneath that tree and I tapped myself into its energy, draining it slowly through my fingertips, I cast aside the old Kovi. I buried him beneath that tree. The weak Kovi. The Kovi who doubted himself, who thought he was insignificant, who could never do anything right, or anything of value. I buried him. Buried him alive. Watched as he struggled. Watched as the struggling ceased. 

    When I opened my eyes, I felt new, like I never had before. I felt like I could take on anything.

    "Much better, isn't it?" Cole asked, his breath touching my ear. 

    I closed my eyes and shuddered, nodding. "Yeah. I can do this. I want to do this."

    Cole stood up and extended a hand. I reached up and grabbed it, noting that there were more lines creating a patchwork on my arm as they twisted and writhed beneath the skin. Kellen, in all her perfection, would never be able to look at them. Humans...they wouldn't understand. Cole though. I looked up into Cole's eyes, saw his satisfaction, and grinned. Cole understood. 

    "Alright, let's go," Kuo said. 

    Naomi stood on her left. I had never seen her up close before, and was surprised to see that her eyes were nearly colorless and completely lacked emotion as she stared at me. "What's he doing here?"

    "Good question," Kuo said, arms folding across her chest. "Cole?"

    "He's going to fight with us today," Cole said. "If he fails, well...let's hope he doesn't."

    "Kovi?"

    With Kuo and Naomi, the other Conduits had arrived, Sedona near the front. She stared at me, mouth opened as if she wanted to say something, eyes confused for a moment, then hurt. I looked away. 

    "Are we going to do this?" I asked. 

    "Hey, if he's going, I wanna go!" a new voice called. 

    "Davin, I said you couldn't use your powers for a week," Cole said, his voice angry. "And I'm not taking that back. You all know the drill. If you're new, you'll figure it out."

    With that, he took off at a run, breaking cover of the trees and heading up onto the highway. I headed after him, surprised by how easily my legs carried me now. My endurance had been building up in the last weeks, but I think my near death experience more than anything had to do with my new strength. 

    Electricity crackled along Cole's arms as we ran, and the distinct sound of engines reached my ears. I looked up and nearly stopped as I saw the army trucks roll out, taking in the men with their machine guns along the top. 

    "What if they shoot us?" I asked. 

    "Don't let them get that close," Cole said. "Follow your instincts, Kovi!"

    With that, he put on a burst of speed and pulled ahead, drawing out his amp as he ran. A flash of cold air and Kuo was past me as well. The sound of machine guns snapped me out of my thoughts and I dropped to the ground on instinct, slapping my hands to the pavement. I gasped as power welled up underneath me, and my vines broke out of my skin all along where the lines were. They writhed and then burrowed into the pavement, cracking it open. 

    Pain ripped through me but I locked my mind down and did as Cole said. I followed my instincts. A ragged cry escaped my throat and I threw my head back. The sound of screams and exploding pavement made me force myself to look forward, and I watched in wonder as larger versions of my deadly spikes broke free of the ground, piercing the armored trucks as if they were paper before sending them flying into the air. Smaller vines broke off from them, and I focused my mind, urging them to catch the soldiers that were trying to escape. 

    I felt their life leave them as I snapped their necks and drove my thorns through their throats, could feel it drain through the vines and back into me, making me stronger, making me feel more _alive._  With a triumphant shout, I forced more vines up through the pavement, ensnaring more soldiers. In a few more minutes, the sound of machine gun fire had stopped and Naomi was standing beside my hunched over form. 

    "Good work. We barely had to do anything," she said. "But I'd break free somehow, because here comes the calvary."

    As she spoke, the ground rocked and the sound of jet fighters taking to the air reached my ears. I pulled back, wincing as the vines that had connected me the ground snapped and went limp on the ground. Naomi was already gone, spiraling into the air. I ran for the tree-like creations my vine drills had created, ignoring the dead bodies that lay strewn across the highway like so many rag dolls. Once I was beyond them, I could see Kuo and Cole heading into the heart of the city, mowing down anyone who stood in their way. 

    Knowing they would be fine, I fell back to my vine drills, wondering if maybe I could extend them up into the skies to help Naomi out. An explosion rocked the ground and I knew she had already taken one out. Working fast, I began to scale the vine drill, using the thorns and spikes as footholds to reach the top. Vines twisted out and created an odd chair for me sit in as I gripped the very tip with one hand and then held my other arm out. 

    Three jet fighters were in the air and they let loose a stream of gunfire at Naomi. With barely a thought, another drill fired from my hand, extending farther than I thought possible and tearing right through the metal of the jet fighter. The weight nearly made me topple over, but since my other hand gripped my deformed tree, I was able to force more vines to twist out and hold me tight so I wouldn't fall. The weight of the jet was nothing like the weight of the creature from before, and I could hear the vines holding me upright groaning from the strain. Unable to keep my arm up, I let it drop to the ground, drill and all. 

    The resulting explosion ended up toppling me from my seat and I hit the pavement with a jarring thud. The vine drill broke off, and I stood up on shaky legs, staring in wonder at the vine drill that had extended from me at least half a mile out to where it pierced the flaming jet. Gunfire split the air and I moved without thinking, ducking as it wailed overhead. 

    I turned my gaze down the highway to see five or six soldiers approaching me. All over, my body stung, but I ignored it as anger over took me. Did they think they could do anything to us? Didn't they understand we were saving all of humanity? With a shout, I extended my arms. Thinner vines shot forward and wrapped around two of the men. I snapped their necks and with a contented sigh, absorbed their energy. The stinging I had felt melted away and I turned my vines on the remaining three, heading into the city as they fell. My vines retracted, the movement feeling more natural then it ever had before. 

    "Wait," Naomi shouted, landing beside me. She was panting and holding her side, blood seeping through her fingers and splattering on the ground. "We wait here, for Cole to do what he needs to do."

    I looked down the main road into the city. It was barren, the corpses of those who had stood in Cole and Kuo's way forever silenced. I could hear the screams of those still inside, but all at once it stopped. The air seemed to grow dead but then the screams began once more, in unison this time, grating against my ears as they crescendoed together. A wave of heat radiated out and engulfed me, and I couldn't help but fall to my knees as the power overwhelmed me. 

    It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Being around Cole had shown me what true power was, but this...this was something I wanted with every fiber of my being. It occurred to me as the power washed over me, ripping through my soul, that this was only a fraction of what Cole felt, what Cole contained within himself. I had thought I was powerful when I had taken down those jets, but this was what true power was. 

    The wave of heat tapered off, and soon, it was just me and Naomi sitting on the ground, panting with exhilaration. I looked over at her, saw that same mix of joy and delirium on her face, more emotion in those colorless eyes then I had seen before. 

    "It's amazing, isn't it?" she asked softly, blond hair falling in her face. "It's like being reborn again, every time."

    "Yeah," I agreed, looking into the city. "How was I even alive before?"

    She snorted. "You weren't. This...this is living."

 

\--

 

    After awhile, the other Conduits swarmed the city and we began to look for survivors. Naomi stumbled off on her own, and I found it hard to walk straight as well. It was like being drunk on power, not that I was able to keep it. Unlike the energy I had taken from the soldiers, this was slowly leeching off of me, and within an hour, I was back to feeling normal. 

    I could see now why Cole didn't have the Conduits take the city by storm. Having that many people wandering around like Naomi and I did would be disastrous. When I finally became aware of what I was doing, I noticed Sedona was walking beside me, kicking a rock as we meandered down the street. We were in the residential area around a school at this point, and without speaking, I led the way into one of the houses. Sedona followed, head down, and I paused at the entrance, hand on the doorknob. 

    "Sedona?"

    "Yes?" 

    I turned to face her. "I did what I felt was right, okay?"

    Before I could say anything, she slapped me, brown eyes watering. "I didn't know where you were! I thought you were dead! I thought Davin had killed you, or Cole, or...dammit Kovi! You just vanished, and when Kuo dragged you back to camp, I thought you were poisoned again, or that maybe you had been punished. And then Cole just carried you away. I didn't know if I was going to see you again, and then...and then you just...you just killed all those people.

    "I watched you, Kovi! I can see energy, and I watched you drain them. You had no right! You didn't even look at me when I saw you. You've changed...it's only been a few weeks and you've changed more then any of us. And it's disgusting."

    She took a deep breath and stepped back, eyes darting to my arms and then flicking back up. I couldn't help but see her discomfort. 

    "I don't...I don't understand what happened, alright? I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was tied to a tree. I fought for my life against some rabid creature and gained some pretty freaking scary powers. And I also came to terms with all of this," I said. "I'll figure out what happened later, but for now...for now I know I'm with Cole. And I'm always going be on Cole's side, okay? I'm not sorry about it either. Cole is doing what's right."

    "Killing children is right?" Sedona demanded. 

    "I can't...I can't do this," I said, pushing past her. "I'll talk to you later, alright?"

    "Fine! Just run away from it, Kovi!" she shouted after me. 

    I clamped down on my emotions and kept walking. I knew I was right. I wasn't going to let her change me.

 

\--

 

    Sedona ended up avoiding me for the rest of the day. We finished clearing out the city and moved on without any major incidents, and I found myself traveling alongside Kuo instead of Sedona like I usually did. 

    I learned a lot from Kuo. It was as if today I had proven myself, and now she had decided I was no longer an obnoxious brat that needed to be pushed aside. She told me about how Cole had gained his powers, some explosion with something called a Ray Sphere. She said they didn't exist anymore, and that the way Cole awakened powers for the Conduits was a lot less painful then what the Ray Sphere did. It only convinced me more that Cole and Kuo were doing the right thing.

    It helped that Kuo wasn't scared of me. She didn't see my arms and turn away like Sedona did. I had seen Sedona's scared look when she saw the vines twisting beneath my skin, as if I were no longer human, as if that were wrong. Kuo understood that it wasn't. Kuo understood that it was right, that it was a display of power. I had only to look at her arms to know she understood. 

    Evening came, and with it, training. I was pleased that Kuo paired me up with Naomi, saying she would be able to teach me how to fight in hand to hand combat, which was something that I would be able to combine with my powers. I got my ass kicked, a lot, but knowing that it was all going to pay off in the end kept me from getting angry. 

    Not once did I hear from Davin again. Maybe he had decided it wasn't worth picking a fight with me after what I had done. That would be fine with me. Before, I had only just barely managed to hold him off, but after this afternoon, I was on Naomi's level in their eyes, and that was an alright place to be. 

    Once we broke to sleep, Sedona approached me. She wordlessly took my hand, her grip loose, as if she didn't want to touch me, and she led me away from the others. We had to go quite a ways away to get out of hearing range, having camped out in a narrow strip of woods instead of a wide forest that covered acres of land like before, but eventually we were alone. For a while, she didn't speak, sitting down on a log and keeping her back to me. In the moonlight, I could clearly see her red hair and pale skin; she really was pretty. 

    I was mad that we had argued, and I wanted more than anything to make it up to her. She was my first friend, and she had saved my life two times over. It wouldn't be right if I just left things like this. I stepped towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder, frowning when she leapt away as if stung. She refused to meet my eyes, keeping them down on the ground. 

    "Kovi...I don't feel right keeping it from you. I know...I know that we don't exactly agree on everything but I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I trust you, really," she said. 

    Given her reaction, I wasn't sure if I believed her. "What's up?"

    "I did it again," she mumbled, twisting her hands together. "I found a Conduit, but I didn't wake her up, and I didn't take her to Cole. It was in that house you left me at. She was just so small, and she was barely breathing. I don't think she would've lived much longer anyways, but I didn't...I didn't want..."

    I was torn between my desire to shake her and hug her as she began to cry, cradling her face in her hands as she wept. "Sedona...you know I have to tell Cole. You can't do things like that. It's not right."

    "No, Kovi. What you're doing isn't right," Sedona said, pointing a finger as she looked at me. The moonlight reflected off her tears and I glanced away, unable to stand the thought that I was the one who had made her cry. "Don't you see what you're becoming? You're...you're losing yourself Kovi. Before long, you'll just be killing anyone, for no reason. You won't have a purpose."

    "You don't understand Sedona. I do have a purpose," I said, backing away from her. "And I can't have you trying to mess that up. I'm sorry."

    "Kovi...what are you doing?" she asked, taking a step towards me. 

    "I have to tell Cole," I said. 

    "Kovi! Don't," she said. 

    I took a deep breath, then closed my eyes. Leaves scattered as tree roots twisted up out of the ground and wrapped around Sedona's legs, securing her to the ground. Ignoring her sobs and small cries of anger, I headed back towards camp, confident I was doing the right thing. She didn't understand. And someone who didn't understand that what we were doing was right was dangerous to the cause; I knew that, she knew that. She knew what she was saying. 

    It wasn't like she was blind. 

    Before I got back to camp, I ran into Cole. 

    "Kovi?"

    "Um...Cole? I need to tell you something," I said. 

    His eyes glowed even stronger in the night, and it made it that much harder to look him in the eyes. "What is it?"

    "Just...follow me," I said, unable to bring the words to my lips that Sedona had betrayed us, betrayed me. 

    Not yet.

    The walk back to where I had rooted Sedona down was quicker than I would've liked, as I had not yet formed the words I wanted to say, but Sedona said it for me as we approached. 

    "You monster! I hate you!" she yelled, struggling against the roots. "You both...you're both disgusting! I can't believe you would be okay with killing those people. I admit it, Cole! I left two Conduits behind, one in Mayfield, another yesterday. They're both alive. I knew you would kill the youngest one...so I didn't tell you, didn't tell anyone."

    "She told me because we...we're friends," I said quietly. 

    Cole looked at me, eyes boring into mind. "You are?"

    I looked at Sedona, looked at her red hair, such a contrast to her skin, her brown eyes. It really was an odd combination. Seeing her tears made me want to say yes, leap to her defense. Say that we were friends, that he should forgive her, and she was just being emotional. That everything was going to be okay. 

    "Kovi...Kovi please," she whispered. "I know you're human. I know you aren't like him...please Kovi."

    "No. We aren't," I said. "She's a traitor to our cause."

    The sound of metal against metal slid through the air as Cole drew his amp, electricity crackling. I looked away from Sedona, not wanting to see that fear in her big brown eyes. I wished...I wished it wasn't like this. I wished Sedona would just understand, but it was impossible. I couldn't keep dead weight around if I wanted to get stronger. I had buried the old Kovi earlier. Now I would just have to bury my last traitorous thoughts with Sedona. 

    "Kovi don't let him do this! Kovi! I know you're better than him," she shouted. "Kovi please! Kovi! Let me go Kovi!"

    "We can't have people like you around. I'm sorry it has to be this way," Cole said. 

    The amp crackled as he raised it up over his head, no more than a foot away from Sedona. 

    "Kovi...don't forget me. Don't forget...don't forget that you're human, Kovi."

    The amp swung down. 

    And that was it. 

    I don't know what Cole did with her body. Despite my earlier determination, I broke, half muffled sobs tearing free of my chest. I lost track of time, wiping my eyes only to have more tears flood down my face. Deep inside, I was blissfully numb, like my body was feeling all the emotional pain without the rest of me. 

    "Kovi."

    I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes, trying to get rid of the disgusting display of weakness my body was so insistent on showing. "Did I...did I do the right thing?"

    There was a ruffling of leaves as Cole sat down next to me. When had I sat in the first place? "Yes. You remember when I said the name Zeke, don't you?"

    I nodded. At the time, I hadn't thought he knew Sedona and I had heard him speaking with Kuo. 

    "He was my best friend." Cole wasn't looking at me as he spoke, turning his face up to the moonlight instead. "No. He was more. A brother. But he didn't agree with my mission, so in the end, I had to remove him. I had to remove a lot of important people in my life." Cole turned then, strong hand grabbing my wrist and pinning it to the ground. "Do you see what I'm saying, Kovi? You have to understand that _nothing_  gets in the way of our mission."

    "I-"

    "Don't tell me now," Cole said, his gaze intense as our eyes met. "Think about it. Really think. In the morning, give me your answer. If you want to leave, you can. I won't...I won't stop you."

    "Now or later, I know my choice," I said, leaning closer so he could look in my eyes and know I was telling the truth. "I'm staying with you. You changed...everything."

    Like before, the urge to kiss him pressed down on me, and I didn't fight it. Unlike before, I actually met his lips with my own, the touch feather light. So into the moment was I, that when he responded I barely started, instead drinking in his taste. The power tainted even that, and I couldn't help but shiver. It was like kissing batteries.

    The end came too soon, but Cole had a sly grin on his lips, and a satisfied look in his eye. "Your loyalty is unlike the other's Kovi. You truly understand that all the sacrifices we make are for a reason." He stood then, looking back towards camp. "Stay here and think for awhile. You need it."

    Then he was gone, leaving me alone in the cold forest. My first instinct was to simply follow, but I fought it down and folded my arms across my chest, turning my gaze to the moon. Sighing, I pressed my hands to the ground, feeling the energy flowing through the roots of the trees and letting it slide through me. I wasn't draining them, only giving the energy someplace else to flow. 

    Feeling calmer, I brought my thoughts back to Sedona. Like those of my old life, I knew I would have to bury them here, bury them and never look back. I poured through the memories I had of her, picking out every detail and letting it flow out and into the trees. Every emotion, every thought, I boxed neatly and let it slip out in the well of energy all around me until I felt clean again. When I walked back to camp, all thoughts of Sedona were gone. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day, I am going to fix the formatting of all these chapters so it's all the same. One day.

_"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or his foe, that lures him to evil ways."_

_-Buddha_

 

_Cole's POV_

The city was beautiful tonight. It made me think of things long past, things that I should never remember.

When Kovi walked up, my mind was clearer than usual. The fog that usually covered it, the struggle that constantly consumed me, was lifted tonight. I already knew what was in his thoughts – the killing of that poor child. He was young yet. He did not understand the necessity of it.

He was still weak in so many ways.

I explained to him my reasoning. I’m not sure why I wanted him to understand. Maybe it was because I felt as though he wanted to understand. Most people that join don’t try to see my logic but Kovi was different. Kovi questioned the things I did – and when my explanation soothed him I was pleased. It made me feel more confident in my actions, that another person agreed with me.

I should not be so weak. I know this.

When he tried to kiss me – and I am not a fool, his intentions were clear – I realized that, perhaps, he did not understand me as well as I had hoped. Yet I could use that fact to my advantage.

This thought invited the chaos back into my mind and I couldn’t stop a smile from escaping.

Then Kovi went off and got attacked. Kuo tells me it’s the Corrupted. I’m not sure how that’s possible anymore. It feels like Bertrand was a thousand years ago. Could it be that another with his powers has appeared? Are they one of us? The shapeshifter we had went insane – then again, Bertrand wasn’t exactly stable. To think I might have to deal with those monsters again…I don’t want reminders of the past clouding my judgment.

Kovi always asks questions. He’s always afraid. Why can’t he see that we’re something different, something better? How dare he think for one instant that those who would stop us are better or have any right to judge us? I think he’s truly beginning to see the truth of my actions and that brought satisfaction, and that satisfaction placed Kovi into the battle.

I knew Kovi was loyal. I had phrased my responses to make him so, dragged him along. I never lied, no, and I stayed true to my cause. In Kovi I sense potential that I could use to my advantage.

I must do everything I can. Even if that means using his powers to further my mission.

When he brought me to Sedona, I knew I was close to winning him over completely. I offered to let him go, always the true test of loyalty – and he refused. I cannot help but feel pleased at this.

I mentioned Zeke to him. Why? Why would I say his name? A terrible, important sacrifice. Would my life be filled with nothing but sacrifices?

The second time, his attempt to kiss me was much more obvious. I let him, the action innocent and naïve, his lips chapped and uncertain. I didn’t feel any pleasure as he kissed me, only determination. If this was the way to make his loyalties certain, to ground him permanently to my cause, then so be it.

I will destroy anyone who gets in my way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again! Keeping it rolling right along with a nice long chapter, hope you enjoy! As always, reviews are much appreciated.

_"It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny."_

-Jean Nidetch

 

_Kira's POV_

    The straps of the backpack dug into the skin of my shoulders, sending a dull but almost pleasant ache through my upper body. An ache that reminded me I was alive.

We had wasted very little time leaving the city, stopping only to pick up a few supplies – food, water, other essentials – before stuffing said supplies into backpacks and exiting on foot. We had tried several times to start various cars, but with no success. It would’ve been great if we could have taken some sort of vehicle, and I wasn’t really sure why they didn’t start, but I was too eager to get out of the city to really dwell on it.

    There was some sort of unspoken consent that we would follow the paved interstate that passed right by Mayfield City and was the main source of much of the city’s wealth. We walked along the shoulder, avoiding the mass of cars on the road that held those who had attempted to get away but, in the end, were unable to escape the blast. The sun gleamed directly at us, and when I looked back for one last glimpse it cast an ethereal and unnatural glow around the city behind us, which was once so full of life but now only held remnants of that existence.

    I was practically bursting with questions and had absolutely no idea where to start. So, I asked a few of things that had been on my mind all day.

    “Hey, Darian, what’s your favorite color?”

    I didn’t have to read his emotions to see the irritated twitch that appeared after he absorbed that question.

Unconcerned with the lack of an answer, I continued, “Personally, I always liked blue, but I suppose I’d go for a nice forest green as well. What about your favorite foods? Got any of those?”

    Darian’s lips pulled back from his teeth.

    Undeterred, I said, “I like salty things, like pretzels. Oh, man, I really love pretzels. Especially chocolate covered pretzels. They’re just so freaking delicious. It’s like, how delicious can one thing be?”

    Even my mental buffers couldn’t stop the incredulity and exasperation radiating off of my companion. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his jaw clench.

    Pretending to be oblivious, I carried on with, “Do you have any hobbies? You play sports or something? Where did you go to school? I guess that’s a bit of a weird question, isn’t it? How about books? Did you read a lot?”

    A pregnant silence followed my questions.

    I plastered on a scowl. “Sheesh, you could at least answer my questions!”

    Darian ground out, “Ask me an intelligent question and maybe I will!”

    I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Yeah, I know, that was a bit stupid. I was just curious. Here we are, traveling together in hellish conditions, relying on each other…and I don’t know anything about you. Just thought I’d try to get to know you.”

    “You,” he said flatly, “are an idiot.”

    “Well, you wouldn’t be the first to say that.”

    “Do you have any decent questions to ask? Or were you just trying to prove your stupidity?”

    “Wow, some fire to you, huh? Impressive!” I let the joking smile slip from my face. “I have so many questions, I don’t even know where to begin. How much do you know about…well, about the person that destroyed Mayfield?”

    Darian seemed content about this change of subject. “I know quite a bit. My parents actually moved to Mayfield after he rampaged down the East Coast. They were hoping to escape but…”

    “Yeah. I guess there is no escape.”

    He nodded. “Right. His name is Cole MacGrath.”

    “What? It’s a person? I heard rumors of some sort of beast or creature that sucked the souls out of people.”

    “It looks like a person and it can certainly talk. But I wouldn’t call it human.” A note of disgust entered his voice. “People have taken to calling him The Beast.”

    “The Beast…and they call me unimaginative.”

    Darian seemed to be digging through his information. “He traveled down the East Coast, then when he reached a city called New Marais he suddenly cut directly west. And in each city he left almost no one alive.”

    “Except for the Conduits.”

    Darian inclined his head in agreement. “Most of the time, though, he takes the Conduits with him. Apparently he’s starting some sort of army or something. No one’s really sure why.”

    I frowned, thinking it through. “So he goes through each city, recruiting Conduits to his cause, whatever that may be. And he appeared to have a destination, although it changed in New Marais. I mean, that is the ass end of the South – maybe he just decided to turn west then.” 

    “Then why not go directly west? Why go to New Marais at all?”

    I could think of no good answer.

    “Actually there are rumors that Cole MacGrath wasn’t always the Beast.”

    “What? How is that possible?”

    “I don’t know. But they say he originally protected the people of New Marais. Terrorized them, yes, but wanted to keep the city safe. Then something happened.”

    “Something happened,” I replied dryly. “He just magically absorbed the powers of the Beast? Could a Conduit do that somehow?”

    “I’m not sure,” Darian said, sounding irritated. “That’s just what I heard.”

    “Hmmm. I suppose we shouldn’t discredit anything at this point. But it’s hard to confirm all these rumors, what with both Empire City and New Marais being leveled and all.” I paused. “Yeah, what about Empire City? That’s where it all began. Was Cole MacGrath ever involved in Empire City?”

    “Where it all began…”

    “I think there are things we’re missing here. Information.” I gave an exasperated sigh. “It’d be nice to know a little more. See why he does what he does.”

    “I don’t want to know any of his justifications,” Darian said sharply. “He’s a murderer. What more do I need to know?”

    “What, you aren’t curious? I know I am. What drives a man to do such things? To kill so many to create a few Conduits…” I shivered. “There has to be a reason.”

    “Why?” Darian demanded. “Are you siding with him? How can you for an instant – “

    “Whoa, calm down! I never said that. I just think it’s important to know why. A reason for something can say a lot about that person.”

    “It doesn’t change who he is. It’s his actions that really matter.”

    “Yes, that’s true,” I agreed in a soft voice, my hands clenching at a flash of a small boy, blood pooling around him.

    “What powers does the Beast have?” I asked abruptly.

    “Uh…electricity. And, of course, whatever allows him to make new Conduits.”

    I rubbed my chin in thought. “Is that all?”

    Darian’s tone sounded incredulous. “Is that…? That’s not enough of a challenge for you?”

    “No, I mean, it sounds like he’s some sort of lesser god. Yet in reality, he’s a Conduit, like…like us,” And here I forced those words out. I am a Conduit. Might as well accept it.

    “The United States military has been going against him for months now, and they’ve been easily defeated at every city.”

    “Well, duh. They’re fighting a forest fire with matches. I mean, guns can kill Conduits, right?”

Darian nodded. “They aren’t invincible.”

    “But those guns aren’t getting any chances. Cole and his minions mow down their artillery before they have a chance to use it. They need a distraction, someway to slow down Cole’s forces –they need Conduits.”

    Darian gave me a searching look.

    I noticed it. “What?”

    “Have you thought this through before?”

    I rolled my shoulders. “Nah, not really. I realize now it was stupid of me not to keep up with this but…to be honest, I kind of ignored a lot of it.”

    “How do you know what to do, then?”

    I became a bit uncomfortable. “It’s not that I have a perfect suggestion, or anything…it just seems kind of obvious, you know?”

    “You’re smarter than you look.” Darian sounded surprised.

    “Ouch! That hurts.” I stopped walking, clutching my chest in mock pain. “Right here, man.”

    He stopped as well, turning to face me. “Do you know how to fight?”

    My eyes lifted to Darian’s piercing ones.

    “…why?” I asked suspiciously.

    Darian turned, glancing at the now setting sun. “Because someone needs to stop him.”

    “Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I took a step back and lifted my hands. “Just because I have one good idea doesn’t mean I want to start a rebel faction.”

    “Who will, then? Who will standup against him?”

    Who, indeed. A desperate time like this, where the world needed a Gandhi or a Napoleon or anyone, and here I stood with an overly temperamental boy. “I don’t know. But it’s not going to be me.”

    “Why not?”

    “Because I don’t want that responsibility!” I shouted, the anger overwhelming me from nowhere. Darian, clearly startled, just stared at me.

    I turned away. What did he understand? With responsibility brought expectations. Expectations placed on yourself and on others, and if either failed to live up to those then both sides would be swept up in the resulting tide. I was done with responsibility. I didn’t deserve to carry that burden, and I certainly didn’t want a bunch of people dying for me.

    Because that’s what it would turn into. A rebellion against the Beast? Insanity. True, he was only human, but he had the might of hundreds of powerful conduits behind him, not to mention his own powers and experience. And their numbers were growing everyday. A ragtag bunch of people, whether they had Conduits with them or not, would never stand a chance.

    I felt those thoughts settle in, like a whisper that repeated coward over and over in my mind. I wouldn’t lead anyone. I didn’t deserve to. Not anymore.

    “But you – “ Darian began.

    “Just – drop it, ok?” I hissed. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I stalked forward, anger making my body quiver.

    There was quiet for a short while as we continued traveling, the shadows growing longer with my melancholy.

    “Would you let that continue?” Darian suddenly asked, his voice low. “If you had even a slim chance of stopping it?”

    “I won’t let others die for me,” was my answer.

    “Even if it means others may live?”

    I ground my teeth in frustration. What right did I have to make that decision?

    “If you’re so dead set on this stupid idea,” I snapped, “how come you don’t lead it?”

    “I would,” came the confidant answer, and with it a surge of determination. My own unstable emotions had caused my concentration to slip and Darian’s feelings came storming in. “But I know that I wouldn’t make a very good leader.”

    I snorted. “At least you admit it.”

    “And I think you do want to lead a rebellion,” Darian continued. “You didn’t like what you saw any more than I did.”

    “That doesn’t mean – “

    “Enough!” Darian barked, a stab of irritation racing through me. “Why do you doubt yourself so much?”

    “It’s not exactly something you should dive into!”

    “I’m not just talking about this! It’s – it’s everything. You laugh like it’s nothing but I know you hate what happened in Mayfield City just as much as me. Why do you pretend not to care? Are you just hiding from responsibility? Because you can’t do that, not anymore, not this time!”

    I halted, Darian’s anger a fire burning through me. I retaliated unconsciously, somehow pushing against his rage, not wanting to have it filling me like it did. Viciously I shoved without physically moving, tired of his anger and accusations. Darian blinked, his lips parting but no sound escaping, and stumbled back a step.

    Guilt, my guilt, consumed me a moment later. “Hey – “ I tried, holding out a tentative arm.

    Darian looked over me, confusion written on his face and his emotions.

    I let my hand fall, my eyes sliding away from him in shame. “…sorry. I didn’t mean to…I just…” I took a careful breath. “I don’t…want to lead anyone. Maybe I am just hiding. I can’t even control my own powers! What makes you think I can lead anyone?”

    “…was that it, then? Was that your power?”

    I let out a sigh. “Yeah, I guess.” An instant of hesitation, then, “What…what did it feel like?”

    He contemplated for a moment. “Weird.”

    I gave a shaky laugh to which I, rather surprisingly, felt a surge of satisfaction from Darian. Was he trying to cheer me up? “Best description ever. You should quit this rebel business and become a poet.”

    I was rewarded with an almost smile.

    “It felt like…like…” Darian seemed to be struggling for an analogy. “Like you were pushing – at my soul.”

    “So my poet theorem has merit.”

    Darian rolled his eyes. “It’s hard to describe. It really threw me off.”

    I sighed. “At least it has some uses.”

    “I think you have more power then you realize. The ability to manipulate emotions…that’s enough to change the battle.”

    “And yet another factor encouraging my ascension to rebel leader, right? I suppose I’ll consider it if you call me Obi-wan.”

    Darian shifted, resettling the backpack. “Just think about it. I – “ He cut himself off, moving again, the cloth of the backpack rustling, looking uncomfortable.

    Taking a second to sift through the emotions, I smiled. “Apology accepted.”

    Darian released a small breath.

    “And I will give it some thought, I promise. Right now, though, I don’t want to concentrate on anything that major.”

    “You might not have very long to think about it,” Darian warned.

    “Yeah, yeah, I know. So, uh…do you have a favorite food?”

    Darian turned and began walking.

    “Hey! Wait! It’s a legit question!”

 

-.-

 

    I let out an explosive sigh as I flopped back onto the ground. “What’s for dinner? Let me guess – something from a can. Probably disgusting. It better not be prunes again.”

    “You shouldn’t complain.”

    “Yeah, yeah, starving kids in Africa and all that. I think I have a right this time though. I mean, I just fled a city where genocide was casually committed by a man who calls himself the Beast and now I’m traveling with some weird guy who keeps encouraging me to take up arms against said murderer.”

    Darian flushed. “I said I – “

    “Oh, calm now, man, I’m just messing with you.” Propping myself back on my elbows, I let my head fall back and gazed at the night sky. “…huh. It’s true.”

    Darian gave me a sharp glance as though expecting more teasing. “What is?”

    “The stars. You can see more of them out here, away from the city.”

    Surprised leaked through to me. “Well, yeah. How did you not know that?”

    My eyes drank in the beautiful star scape above me. Although I felt like a sappy idiot just thinking about it, the stars actually did kind of look like diamonds, sparkling high out of reach. “I never left the city. I lived there my whole life.”

    Incredulity. I really shouldn’t be leaving that link open, but it just came so naturally, like breathing. I had to make a conscious effort not to allow it. “Uh, well…the city’s nice and…”

    I barked out a laugh. “Oh, save it. That hellhole isn’t fit for a vacation spot, like alone a home. There’s just…something about it that draws you in. Holds you tight. And it never, ever lets go.” I fell silent, realizing I sounded like a total idiot.

    But to my astonishment, Darian responded with, “I know what you mean. I used to live in this small town. I always hated it because there was nothing to do and not many kids my age. But when we moved to Mayfield I hated it even more. I found that I missed all those open spaces around my old house…it feels like the city is suffocating. I don’t understand how anyone can live that long without seeing the horizon.”

    My eyes slid closed. “We pretend that everything’s all right, that it doesn’t bother us.”

    A kind of silence fell, not quite comfortable.

    I forced a grin. “That got kind of heavy, didn’t it?”

    Darian made a disinterested noise of agreement. I heard the gentle clink of metal as withdrew a few of the cans and got to work on them with a small can opener.

    Suddenly he said, “You should try your powers again.”

    My eyes shot open. “What?”

    “We should use evenings as practice.”

    “And what kind of practice are you proposing?”

    “Our powers. As Conduits.” He thought for a moment. “Do you know any hand-to-hand combat?”

    I blinked at the subject change. “Uh…yeah. Do you?”

    “Yeah. Well, a little – some judo. My parents were paranoid after we moved to the city. What exactly do you know?”

    My mind turned back to dirty alleyways, sneering faces, and bruised knuckles. “Street fighting.”

    “Really?”

    “Yeah, really.” I turned my gaze over to him. He looked thoughtful.

    “Hmm.”

    “Wouldn’t have pegged me as the type, huh?”

    “It could come in handy. Seeing as your power isn’t that offensive. When did you learn to – “

    “Stop,” I cut him off. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

    “…ok,” he agreed. “Still. You could teach me a few things. Plus we should learn how to use our powers.”

    “In battle, you mean?”

    He gave a resolute nod.

    “That could be useful.”

    He was obviously surprised. “Then you’ll do it?”

    “Sure. There’s nothing wrong with practicing. Or learning. Let’s start with you.”

    “Me?”

    “Yup.” I pushed myself back into a sitting position, resting my hands on my knees. “Let’s see it.”

    His stunned expression shifted into a more determined one. “Ok.”

    Once again he held out his hand, that tiny flame flaring to life in his palm.

    “Bigger,” I encouraged.

    His determination coursed through me as he set his jaw and glared at the flame. The little fire flickered, then expanded, doubling – before it went out.

    Darian leaned back with a huff, clearly irritated.

    “I think you’re getting too into it,” I offered.

    “Oh, really,” was his retort. “And what would you know?”

    I flexed my fingers, hearing the tiny cracks. “Oh? That sounds like a challenge.” My eyes closed again and for the first time I allowed my power to go flooding through me.

    Darian’s emotions were a little bundle of energy, just sitting there, waiting for me to unravel them. I found myself somehow reaching for them. A tap here, a nudge there…I twisted the emotions so smoothly that even I could barely tell what I’d done, letting my instincts guide me. And now the once red hot emotions were cool, calm, peaceful.

    Darian’s stunned expression when I opened my eyes was enough to send me into fits of laughter.

    “What did you do?” he demanded, placing a hand against his chest. “I feel…”

    “Weird?”

    “Mellow.”

    This elicited another chuckle. “I just rolled with it.”

    “With what?”

    “My powers. Don’t try and force it. Just let it kind of, slide over you.”

    Darian appeared skeptical but I gave him my most charming smile, to which he rolled his eyes.

    This time, the flame was much steadier. Even as I watched it crept up his arm, the flames licking but, amazingly, not burning him or his clothing. They traveled leisurely across his body, caressing him almost lovingly. The further they got, the deeper his brow furrowed and the more intense his expression, until they vanished completely as they hit his right shoulder.

His eyes opened slowly, exhilaration and excitement racing through him.

    I couldn’t stop a grin as I leaned back on my elbows once again. “See?”

    “It…worked. That was incredible. I could feel it…”

    “Well, whatever you can do, it’s certainly not fire.”

    This comment startled him out of his reverie. “What? How can you say that? It was clearly – “

    “It didn’t burn you or your clothes. I’m thinking it’s…” I moved my hands around in a vaguely mysterious pattern. “...some kind of psychic energy. Or something.”

    He raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Psychic energy?”

    “Well, it’d make sense. I mean, Conduits have to get these magical powers from somewhere. Why not some sort of weird inner power? We don’t need other people or objects to use them, although my powers seem to focus on other people. I wonder if all Conduits are like us.”

    Darian immediately shook his head. “No, they aren’t. Conduit powers are varied and often unique to each person. They say that no two people in the Beast’s army have the same powers, though that’s probably just rumors.”

    “Hundreds of people with different powers,” I marveled. “Incredible.”

    Exasperated, Darain said, “Everything that monster does seems to impress you.”

   “That’s because it is impressive. Kind of like the Holocaust. Horrible, true, and something that should never be done, but impressive nonetheless. Besides, it’s important to know what your enemy is doing and how before you strike. Studying Cole’s forces…if you’re serious about this, then that’s one of the most basic things we’ll have to do. Hundreds of powers, all of them different – how do you develop a strategy against that?” A thought crossed my mind. “They can’t all be offensive, can they? How does Cole attack cities?”

    “He only uses a few other Conduits than himself when he attacks. His most powerful fighters I would guess. The rest of his group hangs back and waits, then picks through the city looking for Conduits.”

    “Then he could have Conduits that heal, that increase his power…hell, he could have Conduits that make him and his army invisible or even invulnerable!” I felt a grin forming. “It’d be insanity to go against him. Impossible.”

    That’s right. Impossible. How often had I heard those words? Whether from my parents or others, it seemed like my whole life had been filled with “don’t do it's and “it’s impossible. Don’t bother, just give up – it’s safer that way. If you never try to walk, you’ll never fall down.

    But what kind of life was that? No challenges. No pain, no gain. I lived my life for that pain, for that instant of success where so many others had failed. It wasn’t that I thought I was better than others. No, I was simply more determined, more stubborn. What better way to prove yourself then to throw yourself against every obstacle you encountered until it broke? Until you found a way around it, over it, through it?

    I couldn’t stop low laughter from escaping. Impossible.

    Who was I to turn down a good challenge?

    I certainly hadn’t made my decision just yet. But I was moving towards something, a conclusion that would take a little more convincing before I finally settled.

    “What is it?” Darian asked.

    “Hmmm? Oh, it’s nothing. Just thinking.”

    He handed me the can of food that had been abandoned so long ago. “About what?”

    The corners of my lips pulled up as I accepted the can. “About the crazy life we lead.”

     

\--

 

The sun beat down, hot and heavy against my neck, the straps of the pack digging into my shoulders once again. The afternoon and silence stretched on as we walked, once again encountering no one on the roads.

It was hot. The heat of the afternoon shimmered on the pavement in front of us, the air blurring and contorting. I squinted through the haze, seeing something up ahead although I couldn’t quite make out what –

I froze for an instant before breaking into a run, Darian confused gaze piercing into me as I sprinted past him.

I didn’t run for long, stopping at the top of the hill, watching the scene in front of me with a heavy heart. Beside me, Darian, who had quickly caught up, took in a sharp breath.

“I’m sorry, Darian,” I said in a low voice, not really sure why I was apologizing. “It’s…too late.”

In front of us, war raged. Light glinted harshly off metal in the form of bullets, guns, trunks, and, after a few minutes, fighter jets. The noise was almost unbelievable, a screaming and clashing riot of the roar of the engines and the various noises produced by the Conduit powers. It was insanity to think that a few Conduits could stand in front of that and win, but in reality those modern day weapons stood no chance against the Conduits’ powers. I couldn’t make out any details, but one by one the fighter jets twitched and fell, crashing to the ground.

I clutched my head with one hand as a bolt of fearangerhatepain shot through me, no doubt from the people of the city we were watching. I forced myself to look up, dreading what was about to happen but somehow feeling an obligation to watch this to the end.

Soon enough the battle ended, the echoing noises dying off. Quiet took over the scene, a thousand times more ominous then anything I’d ever heard. For a few minutes I just stared, seeing Darian’s hands clench and unclench in my peripheral vision.

Then, chaos.

I caught a glimpse of some sort of red sphere, rising out of the city like some vengeful god, before –

PainfearangerpainterrorhorrorTERROR

 

\--

 

A groan rose into the air, which I realized was me. Twice in one week I wake up, disoriented and with a splitting headache. This couldn’t be a good indication of my future.

“…-ra! Kira! Hey! Are you ok?” A shake of my shoulder accompanied those words.

I mumbled something incoherent that was supposed to be a yes before forcing my eyes open. Darian’s worried face sharpened into clarity as I focused, the sky an incoherent blue framing him. “Wha…what happened…”

“You tell me! I turn around after watching…that…” A shudder passed through his body, and the remnants of his horror slithered through me, leaving me a bit nauseous. “...and you’re lying on the ground having some kind of seizure!”

“A-a seizure? What?”

“Yeah, you were just rolling around, not saying anything, but your mouth was open like you wanted to scream. It was so creepy. Then suddenly you just stopped moving. I didn’t know what to think.”

“I-I’m ok.” I swallowed. “I think. Help me up?”

“I don’t know if you should get up after that.” He sat back on his heels, his face and emotions shining honestly with worry.

I let a slow breath escape, silently agreeing with him. If I never had to stand again it’d be too soon. My whole body felt like rubber and I was a bit afraid I wouldn’t be able to walk for awhile.

“So…what happened?” Darian inquired.

“I…I don’t exactly know. I think I felt those people, in the city…”

“What, you could sense their emotions the whole time?”

“No. When I first saw the city, I couldn’t really feel anything. Then when the fighting got more intense, I could feel some of it. Some of the pain, the fear. When, well, whatever happened – that weird light thing rose out of the city – it just overwhelmed me.” I couldn’t stop the tremors that were coursing through my body. “Oh God, it was horrible. I can’t…I can’t even describe it.” My breath was coming in short little jerks as I remembered. I closed my eyes, but that just brought the emotions surging back and I snapped my eyes open an instant later.

Darian, who was watching me closely, no doubt noticed my body shaking. He hesitated before placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, not saying anything.

The reminder of reality, however subtle, helped calm me down a little. “I guess that extreme emotions are easier to pick up than normal ones.” My voice sounded hollow, drawn out. Dead. It sounded as though some other being was speaking through my mouth, a thought that sent another small fit through me.

“Think about other things, Kira,” Darian advised me.

“Believe me, I’m trying.” I found myself hesitantly reaching out for – “Darian…can I…? I mean, do you mind if…?” I couldn’t put what I meant into words.

At first, Darian was obviously confused, but his face smoothed out after a few seconds. “Do what you must.”

I took that as an affirmative and tentatively stretched out my powers. I let myself sink into Darian’s emotions and the sheer life somehow smoothed me. The straightforward concern and worry anchored me, while the steady burning flame of determination and anger underneath chased away the chills and despair that had settled inside me.

I basked in Darian’s emotions for a few minutes, letting his existence wash over me and his liveliness revive me.

Eventually, I settled down enough to open my eyes.

“…thanks.”

He acknowledged that with an incline of his head. “Are you feeling better?”

“Considerably. I think I can get up now.”

Darian stood, brushing off his pants, before offering me a hand. I took it, his palm warm and sweaty, and allowed him to pull me up.

I took a few steps away from him, testing my legs and finding that I was shaky but capable. Shading myself from the late afternoon sun, I stared at the shell that had once been a living, breathing city, now reduced to a husk.

“Sorry,” I found myself saying.

“For what?”

“For being such a burden.”

“In what way?”

“Most people wouldn’t consider having a seizure productive,” I said dryly. “I can’t – I can’t control my powers. This made it pretty obvious, huh?”

“So you’re saying that you’re weak because you are unable to have perfect control over powers you just received?”

Exasperated and amused, I placed my hands on my hips, taking a defensive pose. “If you put it that way, I sound like an idiot.”

Darian raised an eyebrow.

I let out a low laugh. “Fair enough. I vote we get going instead of continuing to make me look like a total moron.”

 

\--

 

We’d been walking for awhile longer now when something made me stop dead in my tracks.

“…hey, Darian?”

“Yeah?”

“…do trees have emotions?”

“I…don’t think so. But I suppose you would have to tell me.”

I whirled around, seizing Darian by the shoulders and lightly shaking him. “Trees do not have emotions, man! Trees aren’t even alive! Ok, well, they are alive! But they don’t think! Not like – not like – they don’t have fears and doubts and stuff!”

Darian stared back, wide eyed. “I, uh – ”

“They don’t!” I insisted. Oh, but I could hear it, so loud and clear, so obvious. There was a small copse of trees to the side of the road and the emotions coming off them were so strong it made my head ache. I was afraid to turn around, to look at them, to take even one step closer –

_I couldn’t afford to doubt myself anymore._

I could see him, somehow, like I could see the emotions of others as colors. He was a creature of emotion and light in my eyes, a seething mass of dark and conflicted colors, nothing but hatred and insecurity and confusion, a creature that felt as though it had to prove itself more than anything and that overwhelming urge scared it so much it just hid itself away. It was a corpse, strangled by roots of blood red, the colors leaking and drying, mists of emotion curling up and fading in the light.

I reached out, my eyes sliding close. I brushed those emotions, a little awed. I had no idea how they could be trapped in the trees like that but there they were. They were fading, true, but – it was almost as though the trees themselves were trying to hold onto them, trying to preserve them. As I drew closer the feelings reached out – no, the trees gave them to me, pushed them out, rejected them, bestowed them upon me like some kind of holy relic. I drew them in tentatively, a bit afraid, but they were not malicious or harmful. The emotions, though sad, were almost childlike in their yearning and purity, and they nestled into me, settling somewhere in my mind like a forgotten toy.

My eyes shot open as Darian shook me. “Kira!”

“Woah – hold on, hold on, I’m ok.” I rubbed my eyes with my fingers, trying to scrub away those images, acutely aware of the emotions tucked away.

“What happened?” He sent a doubtful glance towards the group of trees that I had gestured to earlier. “Did the trees…uh…?”

“Well, they – they…uh. Showed me some things that…are difficult to describe. Let’s, uh…let’s just say that I can’t explain it, all right?”

Darain gave me a skeptic look. “…if you say so.”

I smirked, covering my unease. “And I do.”

But as we walked towards the city, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of person would cast aside such raw emotions.

 

\--

 

“I think we should rename it,” I suggested. “How about New York?”

Darian, plodding along beside me, sent an exasperated look my way.

“No? New Yorkia? Disneyworld? Or how about Darianopia? I think that last one has a nice right to it, don’t you?”

Another day, another city. Except this time, it wasn’t just another city. It was a city we had watched as it died in a most spectacular fashion – a city I had felt die…

I steered my thoughts away. Best not to dwell on that. Even thinking about the event in passing gave me the shivers, remnants of what I had experienced back on the road.

Yet how could I not think of it? Every set of glossy eyes, every outstretched limb, every body filling the streets made me think of the Beast’s efficiently cruel work. How could a man so easily and swiftly reduce a population to nothing? Back in Mayfield, it hadn’t quite registered. Only after seeing it in person, watching the destruction, did some of that awesome power sink in. Power that Darian was determined to pit himself against.

“So,” I commented softly, more to myself than anyone, “the power of the Beast, huh?”

Darian sent me a cautious sidelong look.

I held up my hands. “Hey, don’t be so nervous. I promise not to break out into convulsions. Probably.”

This seemed to be enough reassurance for him and he turned his eyes back to the street.

“If I had an army of Conduits, what would I do with them?”

“You need a reason to create destruction?”

“No, but…people are logical. They try to justify their actions.”

“I thought we had this conversation.”

“Fine, fine. You’re such a bucket dipper.”

He appeared bemused. “A what?”

“Are you sure we’re going the right way?”

“Considering I’ve never been here, I can’t be sure.” I honestly couldn’t tell if there was sarcasm in his tone or not. “But we passed office buildings and now we seem to be getting into a more residential district.”

“Meaning stores.”

“Yes.”

“Great! I’ve been craving some Oreos.”

“What’s a bucket dipper?”

I started laughing. “You are! You’re a bucket dipper!”

“No, I’m not.”

“How can you know if you are, if you don’t know what it means?”

“Because any term you use to insult me is probably wrong.”

“I’m not insulting you! I’m trying to improve your outlook on life. As usual, I see it’s having little effect.”

As we conversed, I became aware of something at the back of my mind, something that had been growing for awhile but I had pointedly ignored.

I stopped abruptly, craning my neck around, but I saw nothing other than the husks of life.

“What is it?” Darian asked, halting as well.

“Someone’s here.”

“Someone?” He gave a weary once-over to our surroundings.

“Oh, don’t look so worried. I think it’s a child.”

“You think?”

“Well, excuse me for not having the experience to discern exactly what age they are with my newfound powers. Besides, it doesn’t matter – they’re too scared to move, let alone attack us.”

“Are you sure you – ”

“Darian.” I leveled an exasperated look. “Shut up, yeah?”

His teeth clicked as his jaw shut, after which he glowered sullenly at me.

I closed my eyes, reaching out to the adolescent emotions I felt. They were close by that I could tell. It was fairly easy to pinpoint a location somewhere close by, off to my left.

“C’mon.” I waved a hand. With a resigned sigh, Darian followed.

We climbed awkwardly over a section of sidewalk that had housed a particularly large of traffic of people. I tried not to look down but the sensation of walking on dead bodies is kind of hard to ignore. It’s soft and giving, like walking on skin textured carpet or something. And one time I slipped and my hand slapped down right onto some poor guy’s face. Ugh. I think my hand might’ve – you know what, let’s just not think about that.

After a few minutes of struggling and manly grunts from Darian, we finally emerged into a clear spot, about five feet back in an alley between a clothing store and what I suspected was a bakery.

“We should pick up some cinnamon rolls on the way back,” I suggested. “I bet they’re still fresh!”

“Can you concentrate on one thing for just five minutes?”

“Fine, ya damn bucket-dipper.”

He ground his teeth together but didn’t give a verbal reply.

We walked for a little while longer, the alley dark and stretching. The smell, the damp, the depression that seemed to permeate the very asphalt – it brought back memories…

“Hey, Kira,” a tall man greeted, his lanky hair hanging in greasy locks around his face. Behind him the side of the building stretched high above. “We thought you weren’t gonna show!”

Much younger, I laughed and punched him in the arm. “What are you, stupid? I always come! It’s Jack that’s late. Again.”

“Yeah, but he’s always late. You’re never late! What happened?”

“Nothing happened. Just ran into some trouble, that’s all.”

“Trouble, huh?” He rolled his neck, the bones popping. “Want to teach ‘em a lesson?”

“Thanks, but I already got that covered.”

I didn’t tell him the truth, of course. That my parents had finally cornered me and had the nerve to give me a lecture. A lecture! Like they understood anything. Where had they been two years ago, when I’d joined this gang? When had they ever cared?

They didn’t matter. They were just protecting their property.

“Kira!” A shake on my shoulder shook me out of my reverie.

“Huh?”

“You can’t space out like that! Which way?”

It took me a moment to absorb our surroundings and shake off the memories.“Uhh…yeah.” The blank of a wall greeted meet, with the passage now leading either left or right.

“Um…this way,” I decided, turning to the right.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” I snapped. Then I sighed. “…yeah. Sorry.”

“Are you – ok?”

“Just…thinking.”

“About?” Darian prompted, following me down the right hand passage.

“Just…” I sighed again. He deserved the truth, after all. “The past.”

Surprisingly, he fell silent, seeming to understand that I didn’t want to talk about it. This silence allowed the sound of sobbing to echo down the alleyway.

“So you were right.”

“Wha – why do you sound so surprised?!?”

As we neared the sounds, her form emerged from the darkness. She looked to be a young girl, somewhere around 7 years old, with long brown hair and dirtied dress. When she looked up at us, she revealed huge brown eyes and a grimy face, the tears leaving streaks through the grime and her eyes puffy. She shrunk back from us, new tears forming and her hands wringing the folds of her dress.

“It’s all right,” I soothed in a calming voice, crouching down about five feet away. “We aren’t going to hurt you, I promise.”

I glanced up to see Darian scowling and crossing his arms.

“Darian!” I chastised.

“What?” he replied defensively.

“Don’t look so mean! You’re scaring her.”

“Oh, I think the blast already did that.”

“Fine,” I huffed, “you’re scaring her more. How can you live with yourself, knowing you hurt innocent children?”

It was clear he was holding back an exasperated sigh. “Kira…”

“Oh, come on. Indulge me. Uncross your arms and crouch down. And don’t scowl!”

His scowl grew momentarily until he did as I asked, though he petulantly refused to look at me or the girl.

“There we go,” I announced, turning back to the young girl, who had been watching us with a sort of distant curiosity. “Big, bad man all sorted with. Now. My name is Kira and Mr. Meanie over there is Darian. Do you have a name?”

But the girl just continued to stare at me. I could still feel her fear overwhelming her, although it was beginning to be tempered by curiosity.

“Darian…do you think I should…?” I reached out a hand unconsciously which the girl shrunk back from me, her fear once again overpowering all emotions.

Darian didn’t respond, though I felt him shift beside me.

“Ok,” I muttered in a low voice, closing my eyes. “But if anyone asks, this was your idea.”

Her emotions were so different from Darian’s. Putting aside the fear, the very core of her feelings was different. While Darian’s ran white hot, barely held in check by the fuel of determination and the chill of control, hers were soft and gentle, the inside a caring lavender color. I brushed aside the fear, not dispelling it but tucking it away, letting the purple light shine through. I encouraged her to trust us, though I was careful not to affect the underlying emotions.

When I opened my eyes again, the young girl was crying freely but crawling towards me, her motions desperate and a little confused.

“Oh, come here,” I murmured, moving forward to pick up the girl and settle her on my hip. She stared at me, looking out of the biggest pair of brown eyes I have ever seen.

“Good thing you weren’t my child,” I joked to her. “I would’ve spoiled you rotten. I doubt even Darian could resist those puppy dog eyes. So, do you have a name?”

In response, she buried her face into my collarbone.

“Fair enough,” I sighed.

“Kira,” came Darian’s low voice.

I turned to see him staring at me. “What?”

His eyes flickered away, as though unsure of what to say. “Your powers…are kind of frightening.”

“And what do you mean by that?” I demanded in a neutral tone, acutely away of the bundle I cradled against me.

His gaze was level, the eye contact almost uncomfortable.

I huffed out a breath. “Well, what do you want me to say?”

“Promise me something.”

“What?”

“That you won’t use them on me without my permission.”

My head snapped up and I felt angry. Darian caught my expression and he took a step back.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” I asked in a low voice, my grip tightening on the child. “You think I would ever – ”

In my arms, the child stirred uncomfortably.

“Listen to me, Kira,” Darian suddenly interjected as I took a slow, deep breath, trying to get my anger under control. “I know you would never do something like that against another person’s will, unless you were trying to help. I understand that.”

“Then why do you – ”

“Because! I don’t think you realize how much power you carry. It’s…intense. This promise is an effort to keep that power in check. To make you realize just how dangerous you can be.”

“So you’re afraid of me.”

“No,” came the immediate reply. “I’m afraid of what you will do if you can’t control yourself.”

I turned away from him, staring down the alleyway, feeling my chest clench. Sure, Darian made a good point – but it still hurt. He was basically the only friend I had left and here he was, accusing me –

“You can’t handle it anyway. Do you even know what it’s like to have this responsibility? Give up. Let the maid take care of it.”

“Shut up,” I whispered.

“Kira?”

My eyes burned and I blinked furiously, knowing that if I didn’t get myself under control I was going to start blubbering pathetically.

In the end I failed, didn’t I? I couldn’t handle it. Gabriel died. I failed.

Darian was right. I couldn’t be trusted – not with another human life, let alone some magical powers.

My head snapped up at Darian’s hand on my shoulder, though I didn’t turn around. I must’ve let my emotions seep out, or perhaps the girl was still distressed, because she was crying softly into my shirt.

“Kira,” Darian said gently, “I didn’t mean – ”

“But you did,” I said. “And you’re right. I…I won’t. Use my powers on you, I mean. Or anyone else. I don’t…I can’t…” I wasn’t even sure how I was going to finish my sentence.

I made shushing noises to the girl I carried, rocking her slowly back and forth until her crying petered out. She rubbed at her eyes, obviously exhausted.

Darian was silent throughout the process and I carefully held myself in check, acutely aware of his emotions but careful not to touch them or let them through our connection.

Abruptly, “Kira!”

“What?” I asked, a bit irritated by now at – at everyone, at everything! Life was so much simpler before the apocalypse.

“Kira, I’m not saying to give up your powers! I’m just saying you should be careful. What’s wrong with you?”

“What? There’s nothing wrong with me!”

“Yes, there is! You’ve been acting weird ever since you picked up that kid.”

I froze at his word, the young girl still tucking her head into the curve of my neck. I realized – and not with a little reluctance, mind you – that Darian was right. 100% right. So right that I could barely believe I hadn’t seen it before.

But then, why should I have? I thought I’d gotten over that. Or at least forgotten about it. How could I forget, though? That broken body, the blood and the tears and the anger…

I took a slow breath. Now wasn’t the time for that. Really, was there any good time for it?

“You’re right,” I replied.

“What?” Darian sounded startled.

“I just…yeah. You’re right. That’s all.”

“…oh.” If he sounded startled before, now he was absolutely floored. “O-ok.”

“What?” I laughed. “Never heard anyone agree with you? I can see why.”

“No!” Darian said heatedly. “I just didn’t think you – ”

“Look, Darian.” I squared my shoulders and turned to face him. His face was drawn, brows furrowed and those burning orange eyes piercing me. “I have problems. I admit that. That part’s easy. Problems that…I can’t resolve. Or I won’t. And I know that’s bad, and it’s probably going to cause some nasty things in the future. But for now I just want to keep moving. I just want to forget about them for a little while. So just give me a nice smack upside the head every time I zone out, ok? And we’ll be good.”

Darian frowned, the drawn look not leaving his face. “Are you sure? I mean, maybe we should – ”

“What? Talk about it? Yeah, probably. But I’m not going to. Not yet. And that’s that.”

Darian huffed out a breath and looked away for a moment, obviously thinking.

“All right, Kira,” he finally agreed. “We’ll do it your way. For now.”

“For now,” I echoed. “Now, come on! I was serious about the bakery!”

“What about the child?”

It looked like she had fallen asleep, her breathing even and peaceful. I carefully hitched her up, settling her more firmly on my hip. “What about her?”

Darian watched the little girl, making a small noise in the back of his throat.

“What about her?” I asked more sharply.

His eyes slide away. “Nothing.”

“No! It’s not nothing. Say it!”

“Well…do you think we can take her with us?”

“What do you want to do instead, huh? Leave her here? Mr. Noble Knight?”

He let out a sigh. “No. We can’t do that.”

I grinned at him. “I know, you’re worried about battling the evil Beast with her. But it’ll be fine. Don’t forget, if she’s alive, she has to be a Conduit!”

“What?” Darian blinked.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? We were both left alive – we’re both Conduits. Cole goes to different cities and uses his magical powers, then sends people in to comb through the city. He’s making Conduits!”

“That…that makes sense…!”

“I’m hurt you sound so surprised. Why is it you never believe me?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I suppose I never thought about it. He goes through cities and decimates them.”

“I don’t think it’s quite like that…what about that light? What does it do? It must somehow activate potential Conduits. We only have our powers after he came through, so Conduits have to – be activated, somehow. Then he comes in and recruits them.”

“All of them?”

I raised an eyebrow. “I somehow doubt they are given much choice.”

His brows drew together at that comment.

“Now, come on! Let’s get some donuts! They sell donuts at a bakery, right? How about croissants? Ooh! Mid-afternoon cake! The best kind.”

We emerged into a street, this one thankfully clearer than the last and not layered as thickly with bodies. I squinted in the arcing sunlight , my hand moving to block my eyes before it remembered the precious bundle I carried. I ended up resettling the child on my hip, an action that caused her to lift her head and blink sleepy brown eyes at me. I gave her a tentative little smile which she absentmindedly returned.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” I said, pausing on the sidewalk.

“’m not tired,” she mumbled.

“Ok. You hungry?”

She nodded hesitantly.

I glanced around, realizing we had luckily come out in a downtown area, with shops and restaurants up and down the streets. Most of them were closed, probably due to the impending doom that had so recently come through.

“What d’you think?” I asked, turning to Darian. “Jimmy John’s?”

Darian simply gazed back at me.

“Yeah, with the power out it’ll probably be pretty rank in there, huh?”

“Kira – ”

“Ah, see, there is a bakery! How about slightly stale croissants and donuts?”

Darian turned from me and glanced toward the bakery, face shuttering.

I worried as to what he was thinking, but I was afraid to ask, afraid his questions would pry too deep.

But I was coming to a simple decision: tell Darian the truth or push him away, possibly for good.

With those thoughts weighing on my mind, we picked our way across the street. Unfortunately for us, the door was securely locked, though I could clearly see the inside through the glass windows.

“So,” I inquired, “how do you feel about some casual vandalizing?”

Darian’s mouth twitched. “What are you suggesting?”

I settled the child on the ground. She looked up at me, on hand reaching up to grasp my tattered sleeve. I swallowed thickly as I gazed into those brown eyes. It brought back memories I didn’t want to confront yet.

More than that, thought, it gave the future of the world a bleak prospect. This is what it would become if Cole was allowed to continue his rampage – a place full of orphans and refugees, of lost hope and numb faces. The world we knew would be gone, no doubt replaced with whatever was Cole’s vision. And all these bodies would be cast aside like rubble.

On impulse, I crouched down and enveloped the child in a hug. She stiffened in surprise before returning the gesture, her emotions softening and becoming more content.

A hand on my shoulder broke my rather pathetic reverie. I lifted my head.

“Lunch?” Darian asked quietly.

I couldn’t stop my grin. “Ok.”

In the end, Darian hunted down a tire iron in one of the dead cars and hurled it through one of the front windows.

“I’ve seen better,” I informed him, a smaller hand curled in my own as we watched Darian carefully break the glass.

“Excuse me,” he responded, “next time I break into a store I’ll use a little more style.”

“You’d better, cuz I’ll be rating it from now on.”

Darian stepped carefully into the gaping hole, the glass crunching softly under his feet, moving to unlock the front door.

“Careful of the glass,” I said to the young girl, releasing her hand to hold open the door.

As the girl settled herself into one of the small tables, well back from the broken window, I began to hunt around the store. Most of the food was still intact, if a little stale, and I gleefully piled croissants, pastries, and other foods filled with carbs on the table. With a flourish, I dropped a few napkins onto the table. “Wa-lah! Lunch is served!” I sat down as well.

Darian looked at the food skeptically. “Is this what we should be serving children?”

“I’m so glad you thought of my health! But live a little, will ya?” I reached slowly for a danish but the girl quickly snatched it up.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, pretending to be hurt. “You win this time!”

The girl let out a little laugh and bit into the danish.

The rest of the afternoon was spent finishing lunch before we hunted down some new supplies, picking through the rubble and stores.

“I think we’re ready to go!” I announced, brushing a few imaginary wrinkles out of the girl’s new outfit. She seemed pleased at the cloth pants and loose shirt, giving me a smile.

Darian glanced around. “It’ll be dark in a little while. Why don’t we stay here for tonight?”

I glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow. “You want to stay here? …haven’t we had this conversation before?”

He released a sigh.

I grinned. “Thought so.” I turned to the girl. “Hey – you want to go on a little trip? Is that all right?”

She nodded and offered a hand which I accepted.

“You know, we have to call you something. Do you have a name?”

She looked at me very seriously before shaking her head.

I blinked, confused. “No?”

“I don’t remember,” she said, quietly, voice a little hoarse. It was a sweet sound, gentle and innocent and trusting, and I tried to reign in the sudden sadness.

“Don’t remember your name, huh,” I said in response. “Well, that’s ok. How about Darian and I give you a new one? I’m promise, I’m legally certified. Do you have anything in mind?”

She shook her head, then gazed at me with those huge brown eyes.

“How about…Owl?”

“Owl?” Darian asked incredulously.

“Yeah! She’s got those big brown eyes.” I squished my cheek against her and gave my best puppy dog look to Darian. “Seeeee, how can you resist those eyes?”

Darian rolled his eyes but let out an amused laugh.

“What do you think?”

“I like it!” the newly-christened Owl exclaimed, though her exclamation was soft.

“Maybe we should decide on a last name too! What do you think, daddy?” I teased Darian.

“I think we should get going before I decide to leave you behind,” was his answer.

“Don’t worry,” I mock-whispered to Owl. “Daddy acts mean but it’s just his way of showing he cares.”

She giggled as I smiled and snuck a glance over to Darian, whose ears were reddening.

Yup, looked like I had just formed the weirdest family in history. I had absolutely no doubt that we would go through an uncountable number of trials, some that may break us or tear us apart.

Why, then, did I have such a warm and sappy feeling?

 

\--

 

Oh, God…not again.

My body tensed up as I once again sensed the emotions in the trees.

Owl glanced up at me, her face and emotions open and curious. Her voice was timid as she said, “Kira?”

“One – one second…” I mumbled, my gaze losing focus.

Respect, love, confusion, admiration…these emotions were much kinder than the ones before, a softer and gentler pink, but still with that indelible stamp that meant they were from the same person. It was hard to believe that both sets of emotions, one raw and lonely, the other joyful and trusting, belonged to the same person.

This time the emotions themselves reached out to me. They formed a vague outline of a body, soft features and wide eyes gazing beseechingly. This time I accepted the emotions without hesitation, letting them fill me and storing them away.

“Kira…” came Darian’s warning tone.

I blinked, shooting Darian a grin. “Aw, daddy’s getting angry that mommy’s ignoring him. Don’t worry, daddy – you’re the only one for me.”

Owl giggled as Darian shook his head. “Is something wrong?”

“No…just…”

He stared expectantly.

I turned to look at the sinking sun. “I think we’re going to meet some interesting people in the future.”

 


End file.
